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snouuman - deprived lyrics

i’m deprived of a mind and a soul
walking around with the weight of the world
losing my mind and i’m out of control
but i’m deprived of a mind and a soul

my mind is troubled
and as i try to unwind it, it doubles, an endless struggle
the walls that i’m try’na demolish just refuse to crumble
so i am deprived of oxygen, i am in a jungle
that i haven’t learned to adapt to, is it all temporary i wonder
i sit stoned like a statue, no light at the end of the tunnel
and i just lost the girl that means the world to me
i struggle to cope without her, f-ck it dawg it hurts to see
she’s happy and i’m not the reason
wonder if i should resort to begging and pleading as i sit here trying to face my demons
on my own, i know that no one will ever get me like she does
but i took sh-t for granted and f-cked it without a reason
now that i’m weakened i’ve become someone that i’m afraid of
a strangling anxiety that i cannot seem to shake off
some of you might think that it’s a front that i’m throwing to you
you’ll never understand the sh-t that i’m going through
because i’m

i’m deprived of a mind and a soul
every day i grow colder, colder
walking around with the weight of the world
on my shoulders, i think that i’m folding, i’m folding
losing my mind and i’m out of control
and i hope that one day i can cope when i’m older
but i’m deprived of a mind and a soul
hmm, everyday i grow colder, colder, colder

i need you to excuse me if it seems like i’m getting to personal
but these verbal lurches and verses are all i have in this word
like my blessings have been reversed and i’m stressing as if i’m cursed
lessons haven’t been learned, i’m descending into the dirt
wrestling with insecurities, pressure from all the hurt in me
pressing me so much further in depression and i am curving
the fact that i am hurting is vexing and i deserve it
regrets are making me nervous, i confess that i am worthless
i try my f-cking best but is it worth it?
when will i get rest and should i just keep pushing further?
i’m thankful for the breath up in my chest but this is h-ll
the f-cking voices in my head are all encouraging
this mess and it’s disturbing
to anyone who i have resented and pushed away
and to the ones who i have hurt with all the sh-t i say
it takes a lot for me to swallow all my pride, apologize
it takes a while but what’s even harder to do is stay alive, ‘coz i’m deprived

- snouuman lyrics

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