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snubdub podcast - let them eat cake lyrics

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[shelbyford, spoken]
now, if the two of you should become proper princesses, there are a few key rules and regulations you must follow

[shelbyford]
it’s quite a foreign concept, a seldom+uttered tale
but living a life of royalty is fraught with pains and ails
the subjects are revolting

[chuckford]
they’re turning against us, too

[shelbyford & chuckford]
so what can we mere powerful people do

[shelbyford]
just keep a posh appearance up for the good of the people’s sake

[chuckford, spoken]
and if they should object

[shelbyford, spoken]
let them eat cake!

[penny, spoken]
but… how does that solve anything?
[shelbyford, spoken]
it does!

[hayley, spoken]
yeah, but… how?

[chuckford, spoken]
huh+h… hooooow?

[hayley, spoken]
what?

[shelbyford]
your dress must be custom+tailored, your pearls must be silvered moons
you must select the finest furs to make all the people swoon!
and if you should spot opposers

[chuckford]
trace your neck with a dainty bow!

[shelbyford]
and all the bad people will go away somehow
if they’ve got time to arrange a coup, they’ve got ample time to bake

[chuckford, spoken]
so we just tell them this:
[shelbyford]
let them eat cake!

[hayley, spoken]
so you… k!ll them?

[chuckford, spoken]
we just do the dance that the queen taught us, and they go away!

+horror string sounds+

[penny, spoken]
the “finger across the throat” dance?

[shelbyford, spoken]
yes, that’s the one!

[hayley, spoken]
you’re sending those people to die. your queen taught you to execute people

[chuckford, spoken]
but she would never do something like that! she’s the queen!

[penny, spoken]
hoo boy
[shelbyford]
our dearest queen rules over us in the wake of the king’s attack!

[shelbyford, spoken]
he went to the mead store…

[chuckford, spoken]
and he hasn’t come back

[hayley, spoken]
so, wait… was he attacked or did he did he get drunk and wander off?

[chuckford, spoken]
yes… it saddens us so…

[shelbyford, spoken]
oh, boo hoo hooo…

+both begin to obnoxiously cry+

[hayley, spoken, overlapping]
i’m trying to ask…
i’m trying to ask which…
which one w—
which one—
hey!

[shelbyford, spoken]
our sincerest apologies. we do miss father so. but! i must remain a proper princess

[chuckford, spoken]
and i a proper prince!

[shelbyford & chuckford, spoken]
for the queen

[penny, spoken]
but…you’re a princess! princesses are supposed to be adored! don’t you want your people to actually like you?

[chuckford, spoken]
oh dear, after all of this, they still don’t get it

[shelbyford]
the future of our proud nation lies with the choices a princess makes
so i shall now decree
your apprenticeship to me

[shelbyford & chuckford]
so you two can one day see…
they should eat cake!

[shelbyford, spoken]
your apprenticeship starts now

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