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social lubricant - smile lyrics

[verse 1]
what the f+ck am i alive for, what’s my purpose?
hurtin’ since my birth always feelin’ worthless
weight of this world got me panickin’
trouble duckin’ darkness like i’m anakin
pop a couple pills then i’m back again
pop a few more ‘til i don’t know what’s happenin’
microdosing suicide is how i been managin’
open up my eyes every morning paying for the damages
try to change my ways but my will quickly vanishes
everyday’s a struggle, i wish i was like everyone
smiling ear to ear like life is sweeter than a honey bun
my organs a canvas the drugs are my paint brush
rush from the sugar got me overthinking much
i see your hеlping hand
far too numb to feel your touch
i wish i wasn’t broken, didn’t need a crutch
i wish i was a kid still just playing double dutch
i wish that i could take away еverybody’s sadness that’s been building up
but for now i think i’ll just express myself then refill my cup

[chorus]
i maxed out the debt it wasn’t wealth
i looked for love, it wasn’t felt
i don’t have the card, it wasn’t dealt
it is what it does and nothing else
it doesn’t help
it doesn’t help
[verse 2]
i’m a functioning machine in a broken system
they ask why i don’t smile
while i’m drowning with them
don’t you like swimming?
i’m like oh
in a stormy ocean with no place….no, not really
and they hear the words, but don’t feel me
and make plans for a boat there’s no hope of building
like work for work’s sake is somehow healing
so they gotta to make it complicated
they argued and focused and concentrated
a few folks had drown when the sun went down
they decided to them they would dedicate it
a woman from the church had drugs in her purse
and suggested we all get medicated
cuz depressed it would be hard to progress i guess
and plans for how to paint up the decks a mess still
i couldn’t help but feel
their purpose was fake and my pain was real
to imagine a thing they never came to build
was a distraction that i could see was shamefully ill
so i calmly addressed the group
like why the f+ck would ya’ll disrespect the truth
there’s no wood, no paint, no food, no water
we’ve already lost some sons and daughters
can we please grieve and accept we’ve faltered
and cry for the things which we cannot alter
to connect with pain is much less insane
they smiled back like you don’t understand the game
we’ve been trapped, no storm never changed a thing
and sometimes the mind is the only thing to claim
[chorus]
i maxed out the debt it wasn’t wealth
i looked for love it wasn’t felt
i don’t have the card, it wasn’t dealt
it is what it does and nothing else
it doesn’t help
it doesn’t help

- social lubricant lyrics

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