sorority noise - a portrait of lyrics
i’ve been feeling suicidal
and if i need remind you
it’s not the coming of my heart and my brain
i was thinking about how great
it would be if i could make the tightness in my chest go away
it’s been a while since i’ve seen god
and i’m not trying to lead him on
but he’s always trying to f-ck me
to the tune of my favorite song
and they’re playing “the ’59 sound” in heaven
while the angels were drinking up whiskey and c0kes
it’s hard to freeze your anxieties
when your best friends’ torching your coat
your coat
drop that phone, drink a gl-ss of water
and call me when you get in your bed
i’ve seen inside your head
and i’m doing the surgery on the parts
that still wish you were dead
’cause i’ve lost too many friends
so i’ll say it again and again
and again and again
and again and again
and again and again
i’m not trying to say it’s easy
but i’m trying to say it’s fine
i’ve still got your demons
and they’re not gonna be leaving any time
any time soon
any time soon
any time soon
any time soon
i’m not trying to say it’s easy
but i’m trying to say it’s fine
[spoken word outro]
since i was thirteen i’ve dealt with manic depression and i had a difficult time comprehending the things that i wanted to be and i lived a very happy life and i was turning eighteen and i was doing everything i could to try to make myself feel better but i felt an absence, i felt like i needed to die, i felt like nothing existed and i felt that i wasn’t worthwhile breathing the same air as the ones i loved and my family, and then it came to the point where i started losing friends who had the same f-cking ideas as myself but i have to be strong and i have to live my life as a continuation of theirs lost and i have to do everything in my f-cking power to be the person that i can be and live my life the best way i f-cking can and some days it’s so hard to f-cking stand and f-cking stand and f-cking stand and f-cking stand
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