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spaceboy - never free lyrics

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[verse 1: spaceboy]

one two three to the four to the five
like a dog playing dead am i dead or alive?
sometimes i can’t tell if my life’s alright
but i keep pushing on body’s trying to fight

to live another day my mind wants to say
something else don’t agree with my depressive ways
i don’t wannna stay any longer today
rather nothing at all than a life full of grey

saddest part is is you know what i mean
negativity and demons creeping into my dreams
was a loner from the start never makin’ any teams
going to be this way forever or at least that’s how it seems

it’s never gonna stop and there’s no healing grace
pain is part the journey pain is part of this place
and there’s so much hate, everyone trying to be great
and you’re never going to make it cause you showed up too late

there’s no spots left not a single one for you
you’re unimportant, insignificant, and crazy too
you don’t know what the f-ck i have been through
the shit that i’ve seen and the shit i’ve had to do

i hid from myself cause i was too much to bear
i drank down a beer until i did not care
and i could not think blackouts weren’t rare
guess this what my dad meant when he said life ain’t fair

lost all my friends every single one of them
i can’t blame this shit on my d-mn addiction
i know that i failed and put in no effort to mend
the wounds that i caused man i want this shit to end

but i couldn’t stop there there was no f-cking way
need a drink in my hand every night and every day
it’s my comfort zone it’s my hideaway
to hide from the pain that is plaguing me

what’s the pain? pain of feeling anything
gonna give up everything when there’s so much left to gain
got a broken heart and got a broken brain
self-inflected wounds i’m my own suffering

it’s so tiring to live like this
my stomach clenches up when i think of the friends i miss
the dreams i threw away for a bottle of p-ss
the scars on my mind you can’t see them on my wrist

they feel so real as real as can be
the pain’s so deep i tried psychotherapy
my f-cking therapist even laughed at me
it’s mother f-cking time to take responsibility

to live my life the way that i please
but please i just want another sip of whiskey
because it feels so good warming up my body
if this is all there is i will never be free

- spaceboy lyrics

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