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spasmodic joy - here i am lyrics

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you see me waiting, you see me wishing
for the pressure to finally force you to bend and submit
breathe slower, relax your muscles
here i am and i’m sure you know the reason why
it’s your struggle that i watch
and the way your life sucks you up and pumps you down
no consolation in the statement
that i couldn’t pick you out
it’s your memories that i call
those where you’d be with me without feeling that alone
but you can’t seem to let go
what we had and leave it so
and you should have let me know

you’ll need to find another idol
too much has been built over a mutual rush of blood
and here i am, cruel shadow
of a time when we saw adversity grow
spending time together was
trying to guess which one would be the first to collapse
trying to find which one’s guilty
and who should be the most sorry
so i’ll leave this place for good
i will follow every path that leads to hollywood
so there’s music when i cry
and a friend when i need one
to be there after i die
and testify life was fun
then we really are done



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