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spose - why do i do this to myself?! lyrics

[chorus]
why do i?!
why do i do this to myself?!
why do i?!
why do i do this to myself?!
why can’t i?!
give it up? let it go?
why can’t i?!
give it up? four, three, two, one

[verse]
i shouldn’t do it, i do it, i will be ruined
i’m screwin’ myself, i’m clueless, i blew it, i shouldn’t follow
my mind, ’cause it’s racin’ and pacin’
devices i’m chasin’, adjacent to desolation, we all know
i’m f-cked, gambled thousands of bucks
down on my luck, in the dirt, now i’m stuck
hold up, give me my turn, to play with fire, get burned
had this outcome before, i guess i didn’t learn, no
i shouldn’t smoke it, it’s useless, but if i see it, i do it
a f-ckin’ loser, a doofus, i saw my future, it’s stupid
look vegetated and gruesome, it’s conducive to bruises
a veggie plate ’cause it’s fruitless, but here we go again
spent a wonder to snag it and i just opened the baggy
yo, this is gonna be magic, i get my grip then i grab it
i twist it, l!ck it and wrap it, i’m not addicted, it’s habit
fl!ck the bick and it’s flashin’
and then i get a call from daycare, my daughter’s pukin’, need daddy
i’m paranoid and i shower, i’ll be there in an hour
i hear the devil, he chortle, f-ck, i hope i look normal
feel like i fell through a portal, got in my chevy and sped
i think i need some meds, is my wife mad we met?
how my eyes? are they red? how my future is? dead?
can’t get out of my head, can i be you instead?
lay awake in my bed, look in the mirror and said

[chorus]
why do i?!
why do i do this to myself?!
why do i?!
why do i do this to myself?!
why can’t i?!
give it up? let it go?
why can’t i?!
give it up? four, three, two, one

[outro]
i can’t let
no one but me
down this road
down this rabbit hole
i can’t let
i can’t bring you
i do
do-doody-do

- spose lyrics

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