stan freberg - st. george and the dragonet lyrics
[narrator:]
the legend you are about to hear is true
only the needle should be changed to protect the record
[st. george:]
this is the countryside
my name is st george
i’m a knight
sat-rday, july 10th, 8:05 pm
i was working out of the castle on the nightw-tch
when a call came in from the chief
a dragon had been devouring maidens
homicide
my job, slay him
[st. george:]
you call me, chief
[chief:]
yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens
the king’s daughter may be next
[st. george:]
mmm-hmm
you got a lead
[chief:]
oh, nothing much to go on
say, did you take that.45 automatic
into the lab to have them check on it
[st. george:]
yeah, you were right
[chief:]
i was right
[st. george:]
yeah, it was a gun
8:22 pm, i talked to one of the maidens
who had almost been devoured
[st. george:]
could i talk to you, ma’am
[maiden:]
who are you
[st. george:]
i’m st. george, ma’am
homicide, ma’am
want to ask you a few questions, ma’am
i understand you were almost devoured by the dragon, ma’am
is that right, dragon
[maiden:]
it was terrible
he breathed fire on me
he burned me already
[st. george:]
how can i be sure of that, ma’am
[maiden:]
believe me
i got it straight from the dragon’s mouth
[st. george:]
11:45 pm
i rode over the king’s highway
i saw a man
stopped to talk to him
pardon me, sir
could i talk to you for just a minute, sir
[knave:]
sure, i don’t mind
[st. george:]
what do you do for a living
[knave:]
i’m a knave
[st. george:]
didn’t i pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts
[knave:]
yeah, so what
do you wanna make a federal case out of it
[st. george:]
no, sir
we heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood
we just want to know if you’ve seen him
[knave:]
sure, i’ve seen him
[st. george:]
mmm-hmm
could you describe him for me
[knave:]
what’s to describe
you see one dragon, you seen ’em all
[st. george:]
would you try to remember, sir
just for the record
we just want to get the facts, sir
[knave:]
well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots…
[st. george:]
yes, sir
[knave:]
purple feet, breathing fire and smoke…
[st. george:]
mmm-hmm
[knave:]
and one big bloodshot eye
right in the middle of his forehead and
uh, like that
[st. george:]
notice anything unusual about him
[knave:]
no, he’s just your run-of-the-mill dragon, you know
[st. george:]
mmm-hmm
yes, sir
you can go now
[knave:]
hey, by the way, how you gonna catch him
[st. george:]
i thought you’d never ask
a dragonet
3:05 pm
i was riding back into the courtyard
to make my report to the lab
then it happened
it was the dragon
[dragon:]
hey, i’m the fire-breathin’ dragon
you must be st george, right
[st. george:]
yes, sir
[dragon:]
i can see you got one of them new.45 caliber swords
[st. george:]
that’s about the size of it
[dragon:]
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
you slay me
[st. george:]
that’s what i wanted to talk to you about
[dragon:]
what do you mean
[st. george:]
i’m taking you in on a 502
you figure it out
[dragon:]
what’s the charge
[st. george:]
devouring maidens out of season
[dragon:]
out of season
you’ll never pin that rap on me
do you hear me, cop
[st. george:]
yeah, i hear you
i got you on a 412 too
[dragon:]
a 412
what’s a 412
[st. george:]
over-acting. let’s go
[narrator:]
on september the 5th, the dragon was tried and convicted
his fire was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked
maiden devouring out of season is punishable
by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years
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