star wars rap battles – han solo vs princess leia lyrics
vader: if han won’t turn to the dark side, perhaps slaya will.. fight!
han: been on my grind, spittin my rhymes, spending my time at home and flying
splitting my life, work and wife, getting paid is not a crime
crew was chewie, never cheated always beefin’, getting heated
not gonna listen to what i’m sayin’, look down and read it (points at subt-tles)
leia: me never listen? you need to fix up your fiction
i don’t need female intuition to see all your disses missin’
see, i’m not that type of mrs., these days our kisses are distant
i know about those “missions” when you and lando “go fishin’”
han: oh, now i can’t have friends? that’s how it’s gonna be?
don’t act like you and your rebel buddies haven’t been makin fun of me
i’m just a simple pilot, trying to provide, it isn’t easy
i need some time to unwind cuz your whole family’s crazy
leia: leave my family out of it, you’re sounding like a tool
now you really crossed the line, you’re just trying to be cruel
you wanna be a bad boy? well, how’s this for cool?
you’re an orphan from corellia who never finished school
han: low, leia…you want a fight, well, i’m the wrong one
you married me to make luke jealous…that’s the long con
pining for your brother but your brother was long gone
forget your kiss…luke’s had hotter nights in a taun-taun
leia: incest, solo? you really must be mad at me
you’re an orphan…you don’t know your family
and you’ve been seeing women from across the universe
so yeah, i kissed my brother once but you’ve probably done something worse
han: haha, funny, honey, you can’t get a man to stay
when your brother’s back from ach-to, i won’t get in your way
‘cause your family’s nasty and trashy and right when i blast off
you’re probably kissing vader with the mask off
but truth be told, your father hates you in the worst way
your dad probably hated take your daughter to work day
avoided holidays and wouldn’t celebrate your birthday
he built a whole moon just to blow up your birthplace
leia: you had a son who dearly missed you, now you’re talking daddy issues?
all he wanted to do was hug and kiss you, now he’s gonna k!ll you
ben will leave you dead, bleeding red, ain’t no tellin’ when
couldn’t pick up a phone or pen, so if you love him you tell him then
han: that’s one way to look at it, i hope it makes you happy
you know just as well as i do that ben was raised by a nanny
you weren’t scrubbing floors, doing ch0r-s, you were fighting freakin’ wars
totally commendable but half that freak is yours
leia: wasn’t mother of the year, but your story’s got no cred
‘cause early on, solo, you split like snoke’s head
you left me with ben, so your sk!lls were purely seminal
but even as a single mom i still made general
pta, went to every game, saw him off for every date
sitting front row at each and every school play
han: hold on…hold on…none of that is true
leia: well, maybe not, but i did more than you
han: well, now we got a problem ‘cause our sp-wn is the pantheon
of evil dudes with evil crews, he’s in the upper echelon
leia: you think that i don’t know that? don’t you try to change the subject
let me handle all the parenting, just stick to witty comebacks
han: can arrange that, but face facts, our child wears a face mask
leia: maybe we can visit him, surprise him
han: he’ll hate that
leia: we should go to counseling, we’ll go in as a family
han: our son is kylo ren, we’re way past therapy
leia: no morning sickness but my baby boy’s making me throw up
i’m about to load up, show up, and go show him who’s the grown-up
time to own up or get blown up, you and me about to roll up
what? (pause)
han: i just can’t believe we broke up
leia: now don’t you go start that cr-p
han: i like it when you talk like that
leia: this isn’t over, need some closure, we’ll wrap up right when we’re back
han: i didn’t mean that thing i said
leia: han, it’s time to go
han: but leia…i love you
leia: (ugh) i know
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