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starbomb - a boy and his boat lyrics

[verse 1]

[egoraptor (as link)]
hey, it’s link, i’m back and i’m sailing on a ship
[danny s-xbang (as the king of red lions)]
i’m the king of red lions!
[egoraptor]
yo, i don’t give a sh-t
if there’s one thing i’ve learned from years of saving this land
it’s all i really need is a sword and shield in my hand
[danny s-xbang]
but look over there, that sign says “beware”!
“a giant pit no one can jump you can’t fly through the air”!
you’ll need a special item to get through that moat
but what do i know, right? i’m just a f-cking boat!
[egoraptor]
f-ck, alright, sh-t, okay
i can maybe pick up one or two things on my way
but as far as i’m concerned, all i need is “sword play”
[danny s-xbang]
shut your f-cking elf mouth and take my items, okay?

[chorus 1]

[danny s-xbang]
your quest is long, and the road is tough
the path is dark, you’re gonna need a sh-tload of stuff
no lives are spared, you better be prepared
moblin fangs and a boomerang
and a cloth to shield that nasty w-ng!
from majora’s mask to an empty flask
here’s what you need to complete your task!

[verse 2]

[egoraptor]
a bow and arrow, nice, and a skeleton key!
and a second place trophy from a local spelling bee?
a candle with the handle, and a single velcro sandal
is this an old court order for a drug related scandal?
[danny s-xbang]
no…
[egoraptor]
hey boat, all these items hurt my back, its a lot!
[danny s-xbang]
pop a tylenol, you b-tch, you’ve got 87 slots!
here’s a hammer that can break any kind of rock that it hits
[egoraptor]
oh!
[danny s-xbang]
and a pair of full-size studio drum kits!
[egoraptor]
ugh!

[drum break]

[danny s-xbang]
a giant used q-tip
a really small cruise ship
[egoraptor]
a parent’s signature for a disneyland school trip?!
[danny s-xbang]
doc-ments that prove the moon landing was a hoax
[egoraptor]
and a legendary sacred hidden golden tome of fart jokes!

[chorus 2]

[danny s-xbang]
this wind waker lets you control the air
and this sit maker is a really comfortable reclining chair!
the road is long, you must protect that schl-ng
n-ble stallions and quake medallions
you’re a bigger deal than plumbing italians!
sour-dough, a herd of buffalo
just a few more things and you’re ready to go!

[verse 3]

[egoraptor]
your grandma’s gl-ss eyeball
[danny s-xbang]
80-pounds of drywall
[egoraptor]
and every single item from the march issue of skymall?
[danny s-xbang]
a vegan pasta maker
[egoraptor]
the wrestler “undertaker”?
[danny s-xbang]
an odd number of crutches and a family of quakers
[egoraptor]
a basket of m-ffins
[danny s-xbang]
a turkey with the stuffin’
[egoraptor]
a pillow that needs fluffin’?
[danny s-xbang]
a society of puffins!
[egoraptor]
a fresh unopened box of raised-quality potato sacks
[danny s-xbang]
46 copies of “the jerk” on betamax!
[egoraptor]
it’s getting kinda heavy…
[danny s-xbang]
i don’t care, here’s a chevy!
and the wacky world of minigolf
starring eugene levy!
[egoraptor]
oh my god
i absolutely cannot carry one more thing!
[danny s-xbang]
don’t you worry, all that’s left is this single piece of string

[outro]

[danny s-xbang]
whoa…you see?
this is exactly why i also packed a spinal surgeon
[egoraptor]
…i hate you, boat

- starbomb lyrics

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