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starjake - stalker whale (a parody) lyrics

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“i’m a fat girl

in a small world

i have no ass

and i have no titz

i wanna be a neighbrhood wh0re

but instead…
i’m dating a failing youtuber

just to suck his ding+a+ling

and maybe make a p+rno

i don’t have friends

i’m lucky to have a boyfriend

if only he knew who i really am

a fat nasty chick on a webcam

alone in my parent’s home

with my twelve inch d+ld+

and my markiplier body pillow

i probably have diabetes

but too bad
cuz i love cheeze & pizza

wit da big fat meat!

okay i’m done talking bout food

cause like, i’m fat dude!

soooo

i wanna bring up a topic

it’s about a guy named jake

the dude has a bigger d+ck than my bf

but he doesn’t wanna be fat

so i blocked him the other night

shortly after, my bf did too

cause thats why he’s my boo
he’s a sensitive cuck like me

i’m only dominant

when i make him drink my pee

its over now

he’s blocked like cheeze

and i’m taking a sheet

i have zits all over my coochie

i wanna take my bf to tha moviez

but he lives too far awaaay

i looked in tha mirror today

i got hair on my lips

and hair all up on my tits

so i gotta put on a big outfit

to hide all this disgusting sh+t

my bf thinks i’m beautiful….

even tho he’s clearly lying

it’s just so hard to accept

that n0body likes me

…

…

wait wait, hol up

so, i’m stalking jake’s page

with one of my 50 alternates

he posted about my bf’s channel

his post filled me with rage

made me wanna suck off candle

saying my bf is jealous of him….

like honey

this is not okay

so i unblock him

and i send him harassing messages

cause i don’t know

how to mind my own business

and i’m a sensitive stalker whale

jake eventually made a video on him

that has me blown up

fatter than i already am

bigger than a f+cking blimp

i snitched to my failing boyfriend

please please please

harass him for me

make a video for me

he hurt my feelings

he made me cry

my bf made a video

i know he ran his lips

lied, & everything

but thats fine by me

cause i don’t have any friends

and i love when he agrees

even if its a f+cking lie

he’s so hot

i just wish he had a bigger c+ck

and my cl+t wasn’t completely

covered with zits

my bf messaged him

we called & made up

very good, very good big boy

jake deleted his video

and now my bf

is back to being my toy

…

…

o….. m…… g……

so i thought this was all over

but i guess not

i thought jake deleted his video

but i went behind an alternate

cause i’m an overweight cuck

with a slimy, zitty, hairy c+nt

and…..

he f+cking unlisted it!!!

i messaged my tiny d+ck bf

to block him again

honestly for no real reason

just cus i’m a fat b+tch

…..

just say he’s disrespectful!

+crying+

why does n0body like me

why cant i

mind my own f+cking business!

i’m just a fat ugly mess

and my s+x life is so sh+tty

i cant even suck a f+cking d+cky

cause i don’t know how

and i look like a f+cking cow

i’m gonna go drown myswlf now

in a big f+cking pool of cheetos

cause i’ll never be popular

i’ll never be able to touch my toes

and i’m sure that my bf

has lots of other fat nasty hoes

+cries+”

- starjake lyrics

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