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starjake - turkey sammich (a parody) lyrics

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verse 1 : starjake

i’m in tha kitchen

whippin up a turkey sammich

i been on a diet

so i’m really gonna like this sh+t

i take the bread

put tha meat between tha bread

i don’t mean my d+ck

i mean bread from loaf of bread

dieting wit no carbz

makez me feel so dead

so on my cheat day

i wanna taste some bread

and sum turkeeey

i take a chomp of the sammich

and it tastes so good

its all good in tha hood
m+th+f+cking b+tch

i’m whipping up a+

(hey! i like turkey sammiches!)

wait… who tha f+ck is this b+tch?

(look at me! i’m overweight!)

shut tha f+ck up, sl+t

ur ruining my song

…..

…..

verse 2 : ff

my name is briana

i’m the lead singer of a band
but not really

i just record stuff on my phone

i dunno how to play an instrument

so i steal sounds off the internet

i don’t even know how to rhyme

if i do, its by mistake

i heard there was a turkey sammich

so i broke into starjake’s home

tha turkey was calling my name

cuz i’m a fattie

and i need food

i don’t give a f+ck about my fans

i don’t f+cking care about money

cuz i’m broke!

i live with my parents

and they tell me i’m autistic

but they’re both just b+tchez

i use cl!ckbait for my videoz

cuz i’m too ugly to get viewz

i have diabetez

and i really think eating six pizzaz

is really healt+

[starjake] :

shut tha f+ck up

gimme the mic back

you fat r+t+rded b+tch!

chorus : starjake

i’m whippin up a turkey sammich

wait wait wait….

i like whippin up a turkey sammich

i’m whippin up a turkey sammich

its ganna taste so good

its gonna taste sooooo goood

i’m really wanting dis turkey sammich

verse 3 : starjake / ff

starjake::

i was juzt singing about turk sammich

wtf is up

wit dis ugly fat b+tch

why tha f+ck is she here

my dogs r shaking in feaar

they probably think

that shez gonna cause an earthquake

wit her fat f+cking feet

her music taste is sh+t

she wants to suk my d+ck

but i ain’t giving her sh+t

cause i might catch a dizeaze

i ran to tha front door

now the b+tch is starting to wheeze

she’s so fat

now she’s crying on her kneez

wait… i just dropped the mic!!!!

ff ::

i got tha mic back

starjake is so mean to me

he’s bullying me!

he told me that i’m fat!

why does n0body like me??

why cant i loze weight??

wait… no

i don’t wanna loze any

cause i’m a fat f+ck

and my dumbass rarted fanz

love a fat f+ck

even tho i don’t have a neck

i juzt stole his turkey sammich

i’m ganna share it wit my rarted bf

he’s probably out cheating on me

so i might get to keep it for myself

or maybe not

cuz he’s a disgusting fat tw+t

just like me

he findz his way around tha meat

bf : hey! gimme dat turk sammich

ff : wait…

bf : or i’m ganna f+cking beat u

ff : wait! i’m sorry! plz nooooo

+thwap

bf : now ur on da ground

u really thot u could keep dat from me

i’m ur bf, u ugly fat f+ck

u should be loving me

ff : but… i do luv u

bf : then dont take my sammich!

and don’t even think about it

cuz i’ll beat u

i’ll beat u

i’ll beaut u to deth

u fat rarted b+tch

starjake :

okay okay, i think they’re gone now

ew!

two fat rarts in my kitchen??

ewwwww!!!!!!!

i’m ganna die from cringe!

+diez from cringe+

- starjake lyrics

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