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starving narcissist - kind to me lyrics

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lately my mind hasn’t been kind to me
it’s been telling me things that you wouldn’t believe
it’s 4:30 in the morning, and i need to sleep
lately my mind hasn’t been kind to me

i’ve never cared much about the seasons
never had a story, never had a reason
but winter always filled me with such lonely devastation
filling cold air with some colder conversations

so how’s the weather in cali nowadays?
dear long dark hair, i hope you’re doing okay
i keep having dreams of just running away
i guess when i feel low all i want is a clean slate

because you built me from paper and duct tape
and chalk stains and heartache
and card games and lunch breaks
you made me feel loved

from cat strays and fence chains
from libraries and heat haze
misspelled each other’s last names
you made me feel loved

and that means everything
to me, heaven is no blanket amnesty
it’s that serenity that you can only dream
i’ve been looking in other people’s eyes to see
finding myself in reflections and pupils dilating

i just wanted to write a song that’d make you feel seen
i just wanted to write a song that’d stick, that you would keep
i just wanted to prove i was somebody worth loving
i just want to be free, i just want to be free

maybe one day i’ll grow to know and love myself
and learn how to do it without anybody else
maybe i’ll start a fire and keep it all on my own
you’re all so kind to me, so kind to me, y’know

y’know

(… that’s it.)

- starving narcissist lyrics

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