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statler brothers - how to be a country star lyrics

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the statler brothers
miscellaneous
how to be a country star (1979)
there’s questions we’re always hearing every where we go
like how do i cut a record or get on a country show
well it takes more than just ambition and three chords on an old guitar
there’s a few more thing you ought to learn to be a country star

you have to learn to sing like waylon or pick like jerry reed
yodel like jeannie shepard write songs like tom t
put a cry in your voice like haggard learn spanish like johnny r
whisper like bill anderson and you’ll be a country star

play piano like ronnie milsap or gilley or jerry lee
yo-yo like roy acuff or talk plain like ralph emery
growl like conway twitty get a red white and blue guitar
build a swimming pool like webb did and you’ll be a country star

be tall like sonny james is tell jokes like minnie pearl
be short like jimmy d-ckens or play five-string like earl
get a hip band like willie learn to stutter like m-mel
get a cap like roy clark wore or a voice like barbara mandrell

be rich like eddy arnold say you’re making more than you are
get a gimmick like charley pride got and you’ll be a country star

but if you have no talent and you’re not a male
if you’re built somewhat like dolly or have a face like crystal gayle
come back stage and ask for harold, phil, don or lou
and we’ll see you auditioned for the statler brothers review

- statler brothers lyrics

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