$stdout - estimates lyrics
another pointing session
we never learned our lesson
we’re always over or under
yeah we never get the right number
keep saying we’re gonna improve
like that one’s a 3 not a 2
and that one’s a 2 not a 5
remember you’re not allowed to say 9
i could be fixing a bug
i could be getting s— done
anything but getting in debates
’bout how long it’ll take, what a waste
please don’t make me estimate
please don’t make me guess a date
if we didn’t have these meetings weekly
could’ve had it done yesterday
i could be fixing up sloppy code
instead i’m talking fibonacci
it’s not time, it’s complexity
what the f— does that even mean?
we need this for our sprint
we need this to predict
well i don’t wanna disappoint
so i add padding to all of my points
someone go and get the roadmap
once it’s in the sprint there ain’t no going back
i said a 8 but i don’t really know why
could be a 1 or it could take my whole life
i put 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 2 points on that story card
on that story card (x5)
i put 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 2 points on that task card
on that bug card
on that story card (x4)
we got 10 devs
16 points to a head
it’s all stuck in one lane
man what’s up with qa?
plus i need a review
half the team does too
after all of that planning
we’re here with nothing to do
so many pull requests sitting
but we just pull in more tickets
so our velocity quickens
look like the best in the business
then 3 bugs get rejected
and scope creep gets neglected
we missed a deadline to demo
that’s gonna lead to a retro
someone go and get the roadmap
once it’s in the sprint there ain’t no going back
another week, another session where we’ll get it wrong
still it’s way better than waterfall
i put 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 2 points on that story card
on that story card (x5)
i put 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 5, 3, 2 points on that task card
on that bug card
on that story card (x4)
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