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steel panther - if you really, really love me (live acoustic) lyrics

[intro]
alright, i’m gonna start a song and i want you to follow along
never done this before, check this shi+
i thought it was this
you’re supposed to follow along, assh0l+
i don’t know what you’re doing, dude
one, two, three, four
hold on a second, hold on
what?
everything you hear tonight is completely live. unless you’re watching this on video and it has been fixed in the studio
[?] i’m not doing it
one + pay attention to me, motherf+cker
[?]
you were this close to getting fired two f+cking minutes ago, don’t make me…
[?] that f+cking close
shut up [?]
one, two, three, four

[verse 1]
if you really, really, really, really lovе me
then you really, rеally, really gotta show me
don’t whine when i put it in your booty
or if i’m up all night playing call of duty
never hassle me because i’m unemployed
if i sleep all day don’t get annoyed
then i’ll know that you really,really, really, really, really, really, really love me
if you really, really love me
[verse 2]
if you really truly want to make me feel nice
make it so i don’t ever have to ask twice
let me have the keys to your mercedes
don’t get mad when i bring home some ladies
if i get fat and look like an ape
lie to me, tell me i’m in great shape
then i’ll know that you really,really, really
really, really really love me

[chorus]
if you wonder what i did with the rent
just consider it money well spent
i bought trunks and a new surfboard
so just go tell your dumb landlord
that you love me
you really, really love me

[verse 3]
if i have s+x with your friend melanie
don’t act like it’s some kind of felony
it’s not uncommon for this kind of infidelity
it happens to a lot of guys like tiger woods and me
just be happy that i’m hung like a horse
and you get to ride the pony of course
’cause i’m really, really, really, really, really, really
really, really fond of you too
[chorus]
when you think it’s really suckie girl
all your friends will say “you lucky girl”
you got a man who’s hot you say
all the girls wanna be with me
’cause they love me
they really, really love me
yes they do

[guitar solo]

[verse 4]
if you really, really, really, really love me
you’d never make me hang out with your family
your mum sucks and your dad really hates me
when i try to borrow money he berates me
somehow he thinks that i’m too old for you
’cause you’re nineteen and i’m fifty+two
he can’t see that you really, really, really, really, really, really love me
you really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really love me
if you really, really love me

[outro]
hey, thanks so much
how’s the sound out there, man?
sound alright?
sounds so good up here
how many people wanna hear another f+cking song right now?

- steel panther lyrics

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