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stephen dolginoff & doug kreeger - written contract lyrics

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[nathan leopold] (spoken)
i’m worried

[richard loeb] (spoken)
now what?

[nathan]
how could i ever face my dad
if he found out we’d burnt that warehouse down

[richard]
it was the best evening that we ever had
and no one will ever know—

[nathan]
can you be sure?

[richard] (spoken)
it’s right here, nathan, in black and white. and nietzsche doesn’t lie

[richard]
we’re superior, we are supermen
says my nietzsche book chapters one through ten
and as supermen, we could not get caught
so don’t give last night a second thought
let’s plan next time
’cause we’re both superior, i quote
the superman is above all of society
we’ll have chicago by the throat
if you help me remember you’re my lookout, babe

[nathan] (spoken)
i can’t do this richard. you’ll double+cross me. i’ll do what you want… but you won’t do… what i want

[richard] (spoken)
i’m really disappointed in you nathan. you were making such progress. but now++

[richard]
you’re not fit to pour me bathtub booze
you don’t deserve me
you’re not fit to l!ck my wingtip shoes
you just unnerve me

since i haven’t learned when no means no, babe
i’m gonna tempt your brain with quid pro quo, babe
a written contract

[nathan]
a written contract?

[richard]
spelling out what you will do for me
partic+p+tion
in my crimes, no matter what degree
for compensation
i’ll agree to any terms you lay out
so that means when you ask i’ll have no way out
a written contract

here’s your chance to make things legal at last
in plain black and white
we can let the past remain in the past
and have no more reason to fight

i’ll even let you type the whole thing out
each key provision
wipe away that look of fear and doubt
make a decision

don’t hold out, you’ll get no better offer
’cause it’s the only option i can proffer

a formal contract, a written contract
will help to get you yours, and i’ll get mine
but you’ll never be my equal
if you don’t promise me you’ll sign

[nathan] (spoken)
isn’t this the typewriter you swiped from your roommate freshmen year?

[richard] (spoken)
shut up and take this down
[nathan] (spoken)
one second, i need my glasses

[richard]
‘i, nathan leopold
hereby swear to aid and abet at richard’s request
no matter what he wants i’ll give him my best.’

[nathan]
but only as much as i get—

[richard] (spoken)
whatever

[nathan] (spoken)
now it’s my turn

[nathan]
‘in consideration of the above
i, richard loeb, swear to satisfy babe, wherever it leads
immediately following the above, i’ll give him whatever he needs.’

[richard] (spoken)
great. now comes the good part. i’ll get my knife

[nathan] (spoken)
why a knife?

[richard] (spoken)
we have to sign in blood. hold out your finger. hold out your finger

[richard]
all i have to do is take the knife
and gently puncture the skin
i’ve done this before

[nathan] (spoken)
ouch

[richard]
and once the blood has dried
the terms will begin
try not to drip on the floor

[nathan]
do i get to do you now?

[richard]
no, i can take care of myself

[nathan]
now our lives will be

[nathan/richard]
entwined completely, our friendship’s now redefined
rethought and revised

[nathan]
no turning back now since our blood’s been combined

[richard]
but not till it’s been notarized

[nathan/richard]
and no one has to know our business deal
we’ll keep it hidden
all attempts to break our private seal
will be forbidden

it’s the same old game with one new feature
and next semester you can show your teacher

a simple contract, a written contract
the clauses not misleading, the print not fine
and i hope the contract is the answer to finally keeping you in line

- stephen dolginoff doug kreeger lyrics

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