stephen lynch - bowling song (almighty malachi, professional bowling god) lyrics
you watch me on your tv.
say that my job is easy.
say i am not athletic.
you think my sport’s pathetic.
but you can’t judge me ’till you’ve
walked a mile in my bowling shoes.
so i don’t get all the ladies.
got a mullet from the 80’s
i am known throughout the valleys
as the prophet of alleys.
and as i roll the ball i cry, “let me bowl or let me die!”
i’m almighty malachi, the bowling god.
the smell of rosin gets my high.
kiss those f-ckin’ pins goodbye!
i’m almighty malachi, the bowling… bowling… god.
got a ball that’s smooth and all black.
i keep it in my favorite ball-sac.
i get a feeling in my soul.
as i finger every hole.
and as i roll the ball i cry, “let me bowl or let me die!”
i’m almighty malachi, the bowling god.
the smell of rosin gets my high.
kiss those mother f-ckin’ pins goodbye!
i’m almighty malachi, the bowling… bowling…
not a single man will try, to beat almighty malachi.
all who challenge me are slain.
come on, f-ckers pick a lane.
marshall home and gary d-ckens, get in line for your -ss kickins’.
john patracky and norton duke, your so lame it makes me puke.
who amongst the pro-bowl sector.
dares to don his wrist protector.
not that p-ssy nelson burton, tells me that his wrist is hurtin’.
hey mark walfey, earl the pearl, are ya’ scared to give the ball a hurl?
how bout’ d-ckey webber and his son pete? i’ll turn the motha f-ckas to cream of wheat!
and as i roll the ball i cry, “let me bowl or let me die!”
i’m almighty malachi, the bowling god.
the smell of rosin gets my high.
kiss those f-ckin’ pins goodbye!
i’m almighty malachi, the bowling… bowling god
yeah, the bowling god
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