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stephen lynch - d&d (2005 bonus version) lyrics

[00:04]harmonica.
[00:10]more harmonica.

[00:16]i got my twelve sided die and i’m ready to roll with a wizard and my goblin crew.
[00:22]my friends are coming over to my mom’s bas-m-nt bringing funyuns and the mountain dew.
[00:27]i got a big broad sword made outta cardboard and that stereos a pumpin zeppelin. (dazed and confused)
[00:33]it’s that time of the night, we turn on the black light, let the dungeons and the dragons begin!

[00:38]it’s d and d!!
[00:42]fighting with the legends of yore.
[00:44]it’s d and d!!
[00:48]never kissed a lady before. nope, i said it, wooo!
[00:51]c’mon you gonna bring the thunder? i’ll bring the f-ckin thunder, c’mon bring the thunder, c’mon lets go! aww that’s nice.
[00:57]why don’t you bring some thunder mother f-cker. bring some thunder, alright!

[01:02]now the lord of the rings the dark crystal and things, we use these as a reference tool.
[01:08]and when we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes, we’re the coolest kids in the school!
[01:15]no we’re not. i know.

[01:17]now teich’s a real b-st-rd, but a fair dungeon master, he’s got hitpoints and charisma to lend.
[01:22]and i rehe-rs- in my room or what i call the dragon’s tomb when i’m not out with my girlfriend!
[01:27]it’s d and d!
[01:29]wait wait wait, teich, c’mon. i’m sorry. woah hey wait, i’m sorry. hold on gimme one second. what?
[01:34]dude come on, seriously. what?!
[01:42]you’ve got a f-ckin…girlfriend? dungeon master!
[01:49]that’s kind of a d-ck thing to say.

[01:52]it’s d and d!!
[01:55]summoning the demons of h-ll.
[01:57]it’s d and d!!
[02:00]when our shift ends at the taco bell. gordita! chalupa!

[02:20]well my medieval brother, there’s room here for another, would you care to take a roll of the die?
[02:25]you guys make me weep, you think that you can keep up with a warrior as mighty as i?
[02:31]see you’re in mortal danger, i’m a first cl-ss ranger who’s half gargoyle and half elf.
[02:37]and if that doesn’t scare ya maybe i should beware ya what lurks within my gaming shelf.
[02:43]next to my junior high annual lies my monster manual, and my customized dungeon master screen.
[02:49]i’ve got treasures and traps on my graph paper maps, next to my three inch solid pewter figurines.
[02:55]so if you think you got the b-lls, bring on your dungeon master calls, i’ll be protected by my robe of destruction.
[03:01]and i will leave you both in tears cause i’m the dungeon master here and you two are in need of some instruction.

[03:06]it’s d and d!!
[03:10]warriors who terrify.
[03:12]it’s d and d!!!!!!!
[03:23]virgins, ’til the day…..
[03:30]we…………………………….
[03:41]o oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ohh oh
[03:47]do it, oh oh ohh oh {note:oh’s from new kids on the block song}

[03:50]no, no, no, no! no!

[03:56]one,two f-ck you
[03:57]die!!!!!
[4:04]thank you everybody!

- stephen lynch lyrics

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