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stephen lynch - half a man lyrics

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all my days
i live with my disgrace
i’m afraid to show my face
or at least take off my underwear

see i was born
like a half way neutered pet
i don’t have a matching set
it’s a part of me
that just aint there
please, don’t stare

well i’m a gambling man with out two dice
i’m like uncle ben with only one grain of rice
oh to have two testis would be so nice
but i’m half a man
yeah, i’m half a man

wanna die
end it all, just call it quits
i can’t find a cup that fits
and at baseball games i feel so dumb
when i hear “ball one”

oh, my god
how could you have been so cruel
to give me one family jewel
and the one that’s there must feel so sad
he’s a lonely nad

well i’m a marathon runner with just one leg
i’m a fallopian tube with just one egg
oh, i want another testi
do i have to beg?
i’m half a man

well i’m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
and i’m a siskel and an ebert with just one thumb
and i’m a yo ho ho with no bottle of rum
i’m just half a man
yeah, i’m half a man



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