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stephen sondheim - a little priest lyrics

mrs. lovett: seems a downright shame… todd: shame? lovett: seems an awful waste… such a nice, plump frame wot’s ‘is name has… had… has! nor it can’t be traced… bus’ness needs a lift, debts to be erased… think of it as thrift, as a gift, if you get my drift!

no?

seems an awful waste… i mean, with the price of meat what it is, when you get it, if you get it…

todd: hah! lovett: good, you got it!

take, for instance, mrs. mooney and her pie shop! bus’ness never better using only p-ssycats and toast! and a p-ssy’s good for maybe six or seven at the most! and i’m sure they can’t compare as far as taste!

[simultaneously]

todd: mrs. lovett, what a charming notion lovett: well, it does seem a waste…

todd: eminently practical and yet appropriate as always! lovett: it’s an idea…

todd: mrs. lovett, how i’ve lived without you all these years, i’ll never know! how delectable! also undetectable! lovett: think about it! lots of other gentlemen’ll soon be comin’ for a shave, won’t they? think of all them pies!

todd: how choice!

how rare!

todd: for what’s the sound of the world out there? lovett: what, mr. todd? what, mr. todd? what is that sound? todd: those crunching noises pervading the air! lovett: yes, mr. todd! yes, mr. todd! yes, all around! todd: it’s man devouring man, my dear! both: and [lovett: then] who are we to deny it in here?

todd: (spoken) these are desperate times, mrs. lovett, and desperate measures are called for! lovett: here we are, now! hot out of the oven! todd: what is that?

lovett: it’s priest. have a little priest. todd: is it really good? lovett: sir, it’s too good, at least! then again, they don’t commit sins of the flesh, so it’s pretty fresh. todd: awful lot of fat. lovett: only where it sat. todd: haven’t you got poet, or something like that? lovett: no, y’see, the trouble with poet is ‘ow do you know it’s deceased? try the priest!

lawyer’s rather nice. todd: if it’s for a price. lovett: order something else, though, to follow, since no one should swallow it twice! todd: anything that’s lean. lovett: well, then, if you’re british and loyal, you might enjoy royal marine! anyway, it’s clean. though of course, it tastes of wherever it’s been! todd: is that squire, on the fire? lovett: mercy no, sir, look closer, you’ll notice it’s grocer! todd: looks thicker, more like vicar! lovett: no, it has to be grocer — it’s green!

todd: the history of the world, my love — lovett: save a lot of graves, do a lot of relatives favors! todd: is those below serving those up above! lovett: ev’rybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors! todd: how gratifying for once to know both: that those above will serve those down below!

todd: what is that? lovett: it’s fop. finest in the shop. and we have some shepherd’s pie peppered with actual shepherd on top! and i’ve just begun — here’s the politician, so oily it’s served with a doily, have one! todd: put it on a bun. well, you never know if it’s going to run! lovett: try the friar, fried, it’s drier! todd: no, the clergy is really too co-rs- and too mealy! lovett: then actor, that’s compacter! todd: yes, and always arrives overdone! i’ll come again when you have judge on the menu!

todd: have charity towards the world, my pet! lovett: yes, yes, i know, my love! todd: we’ll take the customers that we can get! lovett: high-born and low, my love! todd: we’ll not discriminate great from small! no, we’ll serve anyone, meaning anyone, both: and to anyone at all!

- stephen sondheim lyrics

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