stick figgas – emcee audition lyrics
outtro:
(whispering of emcees)
staff:
a, okay, o pila na, pila na kayo! o wag magkakagulo dyan. pila lang. a, pag tinawag na ang pangalan nyo, wag na kayong mag ano pa, magusap+usap dyan pasok na kaagad kayo sa pinto, okay? okay
o sino ba ang una? salmonella. sino ba ang salmonella dito? (salmonella: sir, ser!). pasok ka na nga!
mr. anderson: okay, uh, so what’s yer name?
salmonella one: (with a local accent bordering on geeky)
yo, my name is salmonella one. i represent, yo, the, the intellectual rap, and… with metaphors and, and high falutin’ words. and uh, f+ck the mainstream
mr. anderson:
okay, hi. so, do your thang
salmonella one (rapping):
metamorphosis, neuro toxin is what i carry
inevitable like relativity theory
it comes with the territory
i’m like harry with his pottery
unstoppable like an energizer bunny
battery composed of nickel cadium
the calcium from the sacred milk of the golden cow
hidden in the valleys of mount sinai
die by the sword…
unfold the hidden scroll
protected by the evil trolls
word is bang…
staff:
uh, okay, okay thank you. uh, tawagan ka na lang naming, okay? sino ba tong next? uh… uh… og dogg. sino yung og dogg dyan?
(og dogg: yo, i’m right here!)
uh, okay. og dogg! pasok! (enter!)
mr. anderson:
introduce yourself
og dogg: (with a heavy, americanised accent)
yo, my name is uh, o+g d+o+double g. straight off west coast, gangsta n+gga
mr. anderson
ayt, so what do you do?
og dogg:
yo, representing all the gangstas all across the world. i’m representing the real hip hop music. f+ck that nelly sh+t
mr. anderson:
okay, okay. now do your thing
og dogg:
yeah, down for my cool with my gun in my hands
spent time in the penitentiary
and my enemies want to burn me
but they can’t see me ‘cause i’m a real g
every year we have a gang anniversary
can you feel me rolling up and down straight
packing gauges ‘cause imma make you feel the heat
can you feel me, can you feel me?
uh huh
staff:
umm mmhmm, mmhmm ayos ayos. ah, pero hindi ko naintindihan ‘yun, ah. (umm hmm, good, good. but i didn’t understand any of that.)
ah, anyways, ah, thank you and at ah, ang next natin ay sino ba ‘to?… si a, el cabron. a, papasukin na yung el cabron dito, okay?
mr. anderson:
okay, so how about you? what’s your name, boy?
el cabron: (with a vernacular pinoy accent)
yo, this is el cabron yo. uh, representing uh the west side of the moriones clan
mr. anderson:
okay
el cabron:
and um, uh.. puwede ba mag+tagalog? (and uhm, can i use tagalog?)
mr. anderson:
fo sho. fo sho
el cabron:
ah, ‘yun. yo, um, kamusta nga pala sa og ko, si… uh, og uh, slight one. sana po matanggap ako dito. sana magustuhan nyo ako. (oh, okay. yo, um, i’d like to greet my og, my…uh, og slight one. i hope i pass this audition. i hope you’ll like me.)
mr. anderson:
ayt, we’ll see, we’ll see. just do your thing, home boy
el cabron:
yo! el cabron is the place to be
‘wag mo ‘ko talikuran, face to me
ang mga chikabebe binibig+y ang number
malakas daw ang dating ko na parang lolo tander
andito na naman, ang tyan walang laman
pero okay lang yon idol ko si superman
at sikat pa rin ako
kamusta ang mga home boy
di ako bading, hindiiii rin tomboy
represent the real hip+hop game
mga rapper ay aking shi+ne+shame
at mayroon akong…
(interrupted: ah, okay, okay)
yo!
staff:
okay, okay, tama na yan, tama na yan, a medyo
sumasakit na ang ulo ni mr. anderson
balik na lang kayo bukas at tatawagin namin kayo, okay, okay, okay?
emcee 4:
a teka muna, ser
e tapos na ba audition ser?
e, kailangan mag show ng mga sk!lls, ser
e, alam mo naman…
staff:
a teka muna, sino ka ba?
emcee 4:
e ser, medyo matagan na akong nakapila sa labas
mag ha harlem sana ako dito ng+yon, e
staff:
anong harlem? e, emcee audition ito, e
at saka pack up na kami, e, next month na ulit yung audition kaya bumalik na kayo
emcee 5:
ser, ser, teka muna, baka puedeng pasalangin mo na kami
isang linggo na kami nakapila
staff:
o sino ka naman?
emcee 5:
sige na, ser, kahit isang kanta lang
sige na, pasingit naman
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