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stufy - the most personal song ever written by me lyrics

[chorus]
i didn’t want to be a boy when i was five years old
there weren’t enough naps to fix the exhaustion of being told
that the colors i preferred and the stuffies i loved to hold
weren’t made for me

[verse 1]
i didn’t wanna be a girl, and i was scared to die
but there were definitely times i couldn’t stand being alive
and that’s kind of an awful place to be when you were five
wouldn’t you agree?

[verse 2]
i spent my pre-school years
standing in swings alone
screaming at p-ssing planes
to come and take me home
because i’d been disowned
by gender that condones
nothing but its own ritual

[verse 3]
and soon i couldn’t feel a thing except that wet pants kind of shame
and i always had it on me like my stufy’s in my name
and so uncomfortable i wish i remembered to pack a change of everything

[verse 4]
but some things can’t be remedied by medicine or time
and i couldn’t change the world so i just had to change my mind
and the nurse’s office was the only place that i could hide
from all my peers

[verse 5]
so i gave myself blisters
always faking sick
so busy making friends
out of the stones and sticks
that break my bones
and fix my lack of a sidekick
but then i had my stuffies for that

[bridge]
pitted against the world for only liking pink
and if i take a stab it bleeds the blackest ink
that spatters me “hey f-ggot”
and gets in my eyes
after a thousand gallons
i can’t help but cry
for all the five year olds who just can’t understand
why their preferences make them not a man
as if their enduring, it isn’t enough
they take a thousand punches a day
how dare you tell them they’re not tough?

- stufy lyrics

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