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subject 4 - grown lyrics

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[verse 1]
(haha, alright)
slipping down the drain and my childhood going with me
wasn’t sure before but adulting just doesn’t fit me
saw a reflection off my gl-ss that’s when it all truly hit me
stuck a hand in the beast mouth then act surprised when it bit me
a stupid young kid but the magic is finally fading
falling in the hole half scared of what’s down there waiting
vomit in the ditch as result of a night escaping
so buried in my stress i tell time using carbon dating
stumble and stomp my way up out this mental swamp
disappointingly dropping a couple friends long the way
twist my mind a double helix to ensconced with these feelings
and when i see your face d-mn i know that i’ll cave
anti-climatic it’s too depressingly tragic
begged to grow up now it sucks that i’m here
want the wheel you can have it i’ll switch gears automatic
truthfully i’d be relieved don’t got enough drive to steer

[hook]

living my life and now my childhood missing
gave up the innocence traded in for some wisdom
gave up the recklessness had to make a decision
follow a dream or chase another person’s vision

living my life and now my childhood missing
stressing about the bills instead of who i ain’t kissing
turning back the clock seems to be what i’m wishing
should i go after my dream or just…

[verse 2]

casting a line and i’m hoping to catch a purpose
i say that i’m fine but truth is i’m feeling nervous
when i finally find it i hope they don’t think it’s worthless
and i’m hoping i can hide what’s lurking beneath the surface
success ain’t out of mind but sure as sight out of sight
i know when i’m wrong and i’m doing sh-t out of spite
staring at this mask and i’m pouring in all the hurt
pouring in the times i texted death tryna flirt
storing a couple memories try to find what i’m worth
unscrew a couple hinges, see what falls apart first
when it comes to attention my ex would say i’m the worst
and when it comes to the tension know my mindful to burst
now i sit in this chair and i reflect that i’m grown
lay back and close my eyes i start to sink like a stone
listen to the happy people, try to mimic the tone
and dulling the chatter to a meaningless drone

[hook 2]

living my life and now my childhood missing
gave up the innocence traded in for some wisdom
gave up the recklessness had to make a decision
follow a dream or chase another person’s vision

living my life and now my childhood missing
spent too much time sitting back reminiscing
spent too much time looking at life dismissing
should i go after my dream or just



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