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sudden death - a christmas tail lyrics

my generation has been labeled with a big ol’ x
along with it came a stigma of a big ol’ hex
that we’re all into all kinds of self mutilation
body piercing, tattoos, and scarification
but i like to find better things to do
although i do pop the occasional pimple or two
i never really cared for that other stuff
’cause for me my emotional scars were enough
i decided long ago that i wouldn’t treat
my body like a walking wall of graphite
so imaging my surprise when i awoke to find
a tattoo of a heart right on my behind

it was the day after christmas and all through the house
everything was a mess, i even found a dead mouse
the stockings were ripped off the women on the floor
who were p-ssed out drunk from the party the night before
the house was a wreck, i had seen enough
it’ll take me all of next year to clean up
i’d been planning this party the whole month of december
it looked like fun, i wish i could remember
god, what a pain in my -ss, i hate cleaning
something on the back of my sofa is steaming
i don’t wanna know what they did to my cat
and speaking of a pain in my -ss, what’s that
ow, what the h-ll, where did this come from
it’s a feeling like somebody shot me in the b-m
i got so drunk i can’t remember a thing
i don’t know what this is, but man does it sting
into the bathroom i rushed like a flash
tore open my pants and examined my -ss
and on my left b-tt cheek, about an inch wide
was a little red heart with a name inside
v.. vi.. vicky?
vvv…vihh..
vixen? who the h-ll is vixen?
i don’t remember anybody named..
wait a minute, it’s starting to come back
i remember a fat guy in red and black
he showed up to the party ’bout a quarter past twelve
with a whole enterage of reindeer and elves
lookin’ like he had broken some strange s-x laws
my party was crashed by santa claus
that’s the only small detail i recall
besides that i don’t remember nothin’ at all
i know vixen is part of his reindeer crew
but now i wanna know what’d the two of us do
just what went on, how far did it go
on second thought, i think i’d rather not know
something tells me that i should avoid it
’cause i don’t wanna hear that i might have enjoyed it
i cleaned up the house, tried to clear my head
i took a shower and cleaned all the fur off my bed
i got rid of anything that could possibly remind me
i just wanna put this whole thing behind me

i will always regret that happened that night
that little tattoo has ruined my life
the sight of a heart still gives me a chill
and i don’t wanna mention my psychiatrist bill
i sort of understand but i’m kinda sore
that my friends don’t wanna come around no more
my girlfriend left me and i had to move
and i eventually got the d-mn thing removed
someone suggested that i change my religion
i thought about it, and came to a decision
i because i druid because i thought it’d be nice
and now i practice free s-x and human sacrifice
i’m haunted by the incident night and day
and now christmas is only a few weeks away
but this year i’m ready, i’m not gonna run
’cause i went out and bought me a big shot gun
i’m-a wait up all night in my living room
and if vixen comes in then she’s gonna go boom
i’m gonna spike the milk till it’s 190 proof
i’ll start a fire in the fireplace, put land mines on the roof
i’m not gonna repeat what happened last year
i ain’t goin’ nowhere near another tiny reindeer
she better understand what i’m talkin’ about
’cause that’s one piece of tail i can do without

- sudden death lyrics

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