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sudden death - couch potato lyrics

there ain’t nothin’ to do in my home town
so i grab my remote and i plant myself down
suckin’ down cheese b-lls by the pound
gonna watch tv till my brain melts down

i got no wife and i got no life
but i got my remote so i’m set for the night
never shower so i smell like rotten eggs
cobwebs growin’ out the side of my legs
’cause i haven’t gotten up in sixteen years
missin’ a show is one of my worst fears
my father wants to know what kind of drugs i’m on
i don’t get up to eat or even go to the john
even if i wanted to i doubt i could
because my legs feel like they’re made of petrified wood
here in the same place in the same slouch
my b-tt is fused to the cushion of the couch
dropped out of school in the second grade
got a ten foot screen, got a gl-ss of lemonade
got a jar next to me for when i have to pee
this is the way life was meant to be

there ain’t nothin’ to do in my home town
so i grab my remote and i plant myself down
suckin’ down cheese b-lls by the pound
gonna watch tv till my brain melts down

rats and roaches run around the room
i forgot what it’s like to be in any other room
i stare at the tube and i never make a sound
’cause the tv set never lets me down
talk shows, talk shows, all day long
with stuff like this, how can i go wrong?
like cross dressin’ n-z-s who live on gummy bears
and elvis impersonators singing in their underwear
games, game shows all day and night
i live for shows like the price is right
i’m still waitin’ to see bob barker cringe
when a fat woman pulls the big wheel off the hinge
wait, what’s happening, this has to be a joke
oh, god, no, please, my remote is broke
these are brand new batteries i can’t believe they blew
now what the h-ll am i supposed to do?
there ain’t nothin’ to do in my home town
so i grab my rerote- and i plant myself down
suckin’ down cheese b-lls by the pound
gonna watch tv till my brain melts down.

- sudden death lyrics

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