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suffocate for fuck sake - behind the door lyrics

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behind the door, another broken door
there‘s someone inside
as i bend my knee
i give my life to thee

opressor, enabler
fuel to the fire
a collector of grinded t++th
sovereign of tears

when i get out there, i remember that there was a well+dressed person that i had never seen before, there wеre aslo two bigger guys. one sat in my armchair and two sat in my sofa. it was almost likе in a movie. it was so d+mn uncomfortable and i was so scared and they looked at me and saw that i was really scared. they had guns and it was something completely new to me, i had never come in contact with guns before and that type of people. so i had a panic attack and started to cry, i was completely broke and they told me “you have two weeks, otherwise something very bad will happen”

after they had left the only thing i felt was, god i am glad my friends haven‘t arrive yet, they will come soon and i will not have to feel this way. when they do i can go into my little bubble again, and they came shortly afterwards and then it was just a matter of wearing a mask and “h+llo guys, i’m so glad you came” we sat down and did our thing, and i didn‘t tell them of course

when they left, i lay down and thought to myslef that i have to solve this now, what am i doing. everything about this mess of loans… the gang behind it… it was the most uncontrollable thing that had ever happened in my whole life

is there a way out?
sun sets, skies are black
would things be different
if i could try again?

pretend and seal the mask

i managed in different ways to scr+pe together this money so that i could pay them off. even when i was about to hand over the money, i thought “i never want to end up in this situation again i have never been so scared in my whole life. now i have to figure this out, it has to end ”

despite that, i started playing again a couple of months later. apparently there is always a new bottom… you think you have reached your bottom but there is always a new bottom. now that i look back on it, and feel that fear when i was in the bathroom and i hear that someone is in my apartment… and everything with the guns… that after only a few months i thought to myself, i probably just had some bad luck



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