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sunlight2003 - runs in the family, pt. i lyrics

intro:
what is depression?… depression is a mental illness that makes you very sick
you get really low down, and you feel like you’re caught up in the mix
and you can’t fix it
these are true stories, no kidding, sun light…

verse 1:
h+llo? no one’s answering, i’m all alone in this room
been really tired and angry, my loved ones are staying true
my wife is helping me through, just had a bump in my routine
a heart operation, tryna keep the d+mn thing beating
but it’s not going good, been in and out of consciousness for weeks
these pills i’ve been taking arе making me so drowsy, i’m asleep
but with my eyes opеn, i’ve got nothing to do, i’m all by myself
nurses running tests on me, but they still can’t even help
i worked day and night for years, before this problem shocked me
i’m dying, and my family hate seeing me not breathe
my eldest child is in 7th grade, too old to leave her and her brothers
but i don’t remember their childhood, and as for their mother
i love her, but she has to see me suffer
it’s not fair on her, does all of the jobs, cleans and cooks supper
while i’m in bed, no one knows what’s wrong with me
honestly, i don’t even know if i’m gonna be
here for much longer, it’s looking bad in the long run
i feel like i’m the wrong one to raise a daughter and two sons
my heart’s pumping blood but i’m losing it too
i’m gonna lose, i don’t know what i’m gonna do, d+mn…
chorus:
i guess it runs in the family, yea
i guess it runs in the family
i guess it runs in the family, yea
i guess it runs in the, runs in the, runs in the, runs in the family

verse 2:
i woke up to the sound of yelling voices
sick people having trouble, for them, sleep is important
but they get none, and here i am, awake and confused
pacing the room, waiting for the day to get through
i’m real ill, i’ve been having suicidal thoughts
problems in the family is probably the cause
i’m tryna find a way out, but it feels like no one’s here for me
i don’t wanna be alive, but there’s people that need me to be
2 kids, my world, 2 beautiful young men
for them i’d do anything, but people have chosen
to try and ruin their reputation, not strangers either
they’re really close, well they were, before they went to leave us
now its us tryna pick up the pieces
jesus, why did it have to be this way, they hate the fact that i’m breathing
but d+mn, it’s not changing, that’s why i’m here getting help
for myself, tryna put my problems on the shelf
just hang up the coat of doubt that’s weighing me down
i’ll figure it out, as soon as these pills start to slow down
and i’m out of this place without a trace of depression
as i finally get up and start to make some progression
in the life that was meant to be for me
i need to be, a good mum for my kids, but they don’t even see
the reason i’m here in this place in the first place
there’s been worse days, their father and i broke up on my birthday
but that was years ago, why is it still impacting me?
god only knows, but maybe i should go back to sleep
i’m practically making it worse, and if you’re asking me
the worst is yet to come, but i know you have my back for me…

- sunlight2003 lyrics

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