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sutaijian - i hope you feel alone iii lyrics

stage iii limerence
acceptance

i don’t blame you one bit
i can’t blame you
you’re too beautiful
beautiful people should get to feel alone sometimes like i do

but i can sure as h+ll blame myself
i just wish that i was enough for you

so i come down to the sane place 10 times a week
i know your shift times now, how long your shift lasts
this is the second time around
so i make my schedule adhere to it

but what else do i f+cking do all day
slave off my daddy payroll, well i till i got disowned
and it was never sh+t compared to what yours brought to the table
im alone
i hope you feel like me for once

i busk sometimes and i sit there and stare sometimes at your face
till the baristas kick me out
and the foods overpriced so i can’t afford it
you brush your hair
and i wish that i were you but that’s a story for another day
can’t blur the lines of x+y
i feel alone with everyone that say they love me
because they don’t love th ereal me
you wouldn’t get with any version of me

and you can’t make money from nothing
all i got is fear and loathing
and all this parphenalia
and then you walk away
i try cracking a smile everytime you come my way but you never mind
all i got is a place to sleep at night
that ain’t enough
right?
obviously

can’t afford anything else
f+ck the rent
f+ck the government

i found more traces of your presence on the internet
im out here scrolling way back
hours behind a screen to find out everything i can about you
its a digital dystopia and im a victim
i was put in front of screen fore i could even talk
aol, all of that
all good things dont last
thats why im around this world forever
weed me out sometime, dear god
pick your ugliest flower first
oh and about how i found your name, usernames?
how did i ever forget it in the first place
it starts with a n
or a j
or another h

i asked the barista what it was
she had to write it on your cup everyday
seems like you’ve got some mutual friends and sh+t
obviously, we know each other in the past
ina past life i think our stars aligned in that one
ive changed a lot since
you’ve changed for the better
ive change for the worse

the only thing that remained stagnant was your efferversence
but we don’t know each other anymore because
you’re out of my league, out of my reach
i was relegated
you don’t feel alone enough, theres no way you would
i hope you still know me
i want to make sure that you always will
and i need a way to do that without hurting you
what way though

how about i make a record about you or two
god help me
im making terminal one
give me the courage
not falling in love with me could get you k!lled
literally
i pray you feel alone
i pray on making you alone
and less alone
sometimes i pray for you
pray for you peace for me
pray for us
pray for self control
pause

pray for the sun dawning on our sunset
pray for me to have the strength of will so i canjust leave you alone in peace
but sometimes
i pray that you feel alone (sing it)

last time
i can’t accept it
i can’t find acceptance

sometimes i pray to you
i pray for more than empty home
it don’t got to be with you but has to be at the same time

stoned off shots
at the top floor of the opera
you sing opera
stirring free wine, that they made you pay for
ain’t nothing free unless youre the product
an angel dressed in prada

and you picking on a meal that costs my whole rent for this week
then you throw it away

i could never hurt you but i’ll still hurt you
i just want to make you feel alone
so you’d look at me for once
cry on my shoulder
dont stand a chance
big windows, small dreams
i hope you feel alone

do you feel alone as me
i had to pull my brother off the fan when he tried to tie himself to it with a scarf
for what though, he ended up dead in a car accident the next week
and it ain’t even a whip we owned
they found his body in the trunk
ive been more alone since
and you keep finding more people on your line
all these years
you haven’t aged one bit

good as new
you’re as good as the day i found you
that’s how them diamonds be

a part of me doesn’t want to seek help
because i like living in the shadows
i like being the receded head creep in the gallows
ive been lost in the norwoods and im too broke to find a way out
faling, in love, i’m falling, in love, but i’m still falling face forward everytime
like i always do
that’s why i hope you feel alone
that’s why

its all in the movies
that’s what i convince myself
im done with perversion
i wanna kiss on the your forehead
i want to love you for once
my dreams won’t come true
real love is reel love
it’ll never come true
10pm and you aren’t here tonight
it’s crazy
where do i go next, dead and high feet dangling off somebody rooftop?
where do you go, rooftop bars?
where else would i go?
im alone in this world, forever

next step, your address
if you won’t come home, ill come down to your place
ain’t no more saving face
you feel me?
you ain’t proud of me no more
and i dont blame anyone who isnt
this man is off the loose
lock him up sometime
tell me your scared of me
even though you dont know me
but im sure you do now
you know me for me

its never your fault
miss perfect
my miss perfect
but youll never be mine
i can only call you that
its my fault
and maybe gods

then she came up to me
and said
can you get them keys
gonna stab you in the chest with them
f+ck you b+tch
but i never did
but she walked home with somebody
he’ll be the one that pays the price

i hope you feel alone again, on the way home
with him
wait till real life takes. turn for the worse
and i actually do it
finally manned up to do it
a little too much
mustered the coursge
and then it all fizzled out
cause im a coward
maybe its all for th better
but still i hope you feel alone
ill never let you go
ill always be watching you (singing)
watching your every move
ill be watching you
check the surveilance cameras
i got my right eye on you
cause i love you

- sutaijian lyrics

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