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sybil cyndis - tug of war lyrics

i constantly feel like i’m tearing myself apart
looking into the mirror, just wanting to be gone
shattering it, using it’s shards to cut my face off
axing my limbs, hoping to grow out new ones
if i use a hammer & chisel to sculpt my body
can i create the perfect form like the statues of greek gods?
the people through my screen have always been more attractive than me
fighting myself, knowing they’re what he wants
all the guys he follows have better bodies, muscular & fulfilling
but i’m cursed with a fast metabolism, empty
like a dеad cat maggots have eaten away at
my cup will nеver be full enough for him
some days i feel like diamonds, then it all comes crashing down
i’m in a constant tug of war with myself
battling everything i hate about my mind
my insecurities always win and i crash
into the abyss of negative thoughts & self pity
nothing new, nothing ever changes
despite how hard i try, it feels i’ll never get better, i’m running out of time
pulling with all the strength i have
hands gripped on the rope
a constant battle of tug of war…

- sybil cyndis lyrics

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