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sycamore smith - muriel milady lyrics

i went to the bar with muriel milady
mindful of flanagan, always afraid
he would swoop down and hand her a poem and a rose
i held him at bay till i got up to powder my nose
i knew i’d best hurry or i’d lose my dear muriel
so i powdered with haste and raced back in a fury
all for naught, i’m afraid – i caught her with flanagan
i watched her fall for that back-stabbing fancy-dan again
—–
he comes around, my luck reverses
it happens all the time, he does it on purpose
now that’s bad enough, but i’ll tell you what’s worse is
my heart breaks in half and goes riding away in two he-rs-s
—–
she giggled and chuckled all whack-a-ding hoy
she wriggled and buckled and jiggled with joy
they locked up their fingers, walked off the premises
curses! foiled again by my nemesis
yes, muriel skidoo’d with that suitor who’d wooed her
so i dove out the door and i boldly pursued her
but flanagan turned, said “listen here, pup
i’ll pound you face down in the dirt if you dare to rear up”
—–
i had no choice, i called up to god
and said “please remove flanagan’s soul from his bod”
the lord snapped his fingers
flanagan was minced
the lord sent a torrent of rain
flanagan was rinsed away, away, away
muriel looked over, with dumbstruck surprise
i met her gaze
with love in my eyes
another ker-snap, her head turned to powder
a voice from above said “hey kid, yer better off without her”
—–
i may be thick, but i’ve managed to suss
we pray to god, and then god preys on us
muriel milady’s bereft of her brains
and i’m left with nothing but my love for her
still remains

- sycamore smith lyrics

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