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syrespite - nocturne lyrics

[part i]

[verse]
trying to make time for us, you deserve better
how life would combust and hurt, is that forever?
i’ve been busy, the usage of my truss
to water the plants below, their mental health improves
honesty, i’d feel good, though, is that love?
i find it hard to understand, i’ve been losin’ my cool
‘gainst myself, because that’s jus’ selfish
to help others first, than helpin’ the entirety of yourself
no tycoon, it’s jus’ another endless+loop
how i’m so+young, but it’d feel too soon? (mhm)
heavy of responsibilites from trauma and guilt, consumin’ me
survivor because i’m a diver, thin+ice walkin’
but n0body got a lighter when i need to cig’ away from dark seas
and you’re worried, but i’m just in, lil’ too deep
expectin’ me to hurry, but it’s irregular sleep
you sure opened my eyes to this mountain, lil’ too steep
can you be the light? to get down, please
but i don’t want to drown you in my misery
i am a fool for how i’d get myself used, honestly
and this is early, and you don’t need my burdens in delivery
you deserve much better, because girl, you’re beauty
more internally, i hope you find somebody, that’s worthy
[outro]
how i am unable to grieve+
as it’s too much where i’ve been
ain’t it, too much on where i’ve seen?
disgustin’ of a vulnerability+
i am disappointed at myself, once again
i’m not enough for you, and that bein’ said
i don’t think we can be together, any longer (mhm)
as i need a reality+check from these boulders

[part ii]

[verse]
ain’t it selfish to help others, before yourself?
most would stealth because they didn’t have themselves
to begin with, so they’d find validation for their spirit
childhood trauma to drink, survivor’s guilt to cig’
leaves ’em to be chronically sick, from how it all hits
how, they’d deserve so much better
so, i was their light to their dark, i’m nothin’ different
now, in the heart, it don’t mix right, but still magnificent
though, at what cost if i’m forgotten? it’s quite difficult
you’d bandage my parts, ’till i jus’ falsify towards our promises
ain’t i just quite dismissive? was honestly thinkin’ nothing of it+
how, you’d deserve so much better
who am i ‘asides from bein’ charity, for the emotionally?
i am not therapy, but that just depicts my energy
i’m at a loss of identity, gettin’ harder to see
it is selfish, in givin’ such help than my+f+cking+self
you don’t deserve the boredom that it would sell+
i need time for myself, in checks for my health (mhm)
so, i don’t think it’ll work out, you don’t deserve my burdensomes
if i’m not even there for myself, even a hurt sayin’ this now
how, i deserve so much better: get myself together+ (please)
[outro]
how you’re the, “day” whilst they’re the, “nights?”
makin’ me nocturne but decay, how it all bites’
consquences given, as i cannot afford to live two lifes
two different lives, how it’s been f+ckin’ up mines
and that’s selfish, and you don’t deserve it
that’s selfish, and you don’t deserve it

- syrespite lyrics

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