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sun kil moon – carissa lyrics

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oh carissa, when i first saw you,
you were a lovely child
and the last time i saw you,
you were fifteen and pregnant and running wild

i remember wondering,
could there be a light at the end of your tunnel?
but i left ohio then
and pretty much forgotten all about you

i guess you were there
some years ago at a family funeral
but you were one of so many relatives
i didn’t know which one was you

yesterday morning i woke up to so many,
330 area code calls
i called my mom back
and she was in tears and asked
had i spoke to my father?

carissa burned to death last night
in a freak accident fire
in her yard in bruster her daughter
came home from a party and found her

same way as my uncle who was her grandfather
an aerosol can blew up in the trash, godd-mn,
what were the odds?
she was just getting ready to go
to her midnight shift as an rn is rosworth

and she vanished up in flames like that
but there had to be more to her life’s worth
everyone’s grieving out of their minds,
making arrangements and taking drugs

but i’m flying out there tomorrow
because i need to give and get some hugs
cause i got questions that i’d like to get answered
i may never get them, but carissa gotta know how did it happen

[chorus]

carissa was thirty-five,
you don’t just raise two kids
and take out your trash and die
she was my second cousin, i didn’t know her well at all
but it doesn’t mean that i wasn’t meant
to find some poetry to make some sense of this,
to find a deeper meaning.
in a senseless tragedy, oh carissa
i’ll sing your name across every sea

were you doing someone else’s ch-r-s for them?
were you just killing time,
finding things to do all by your lonesome?
was it even you mistakenly put flammables in the trash.

was it your kids just being kids, and so, oh,
the guilt they will carry around forever
well i’m going out there to get a look
at the landscapes, to get a look at those

i’m connected by blood and see how it all may have shaped me.
well i’m going out there though i’m not really needed
i’m just so broken up about it,
how is it that this sad history repeated?

i’ll return to ohio, to the place i was born
gonna see where i hung with my cousins
and played with them in the snow
fist in their palms, gonna see how they’ve grown

visit some greats and say hey i’ve missed you
gonna find out as much as i can about my little second cousin carissa
gonna go to ohio, where i was born
got a 10:45 am flight,

i’m leaving tomorrow morning
gonna see my aunts and my uncles,
my parents and sisters
mostly i’m going to pay my respects to my little second cousin carissa

going to ohio where i feel i belong
ask those who know the most about carissa
for it was her life and death that i’m helplessly drawn
carissa was thirty-five,

raised kids since she was fifteen years old and suddenly died
next to an old river, fire pit,
oh there’s gotta be more than that to it
she was only my second cousin

but it don’t mean that i’m not here for her
or that i wasn’t meant to give her life poetry
make sure her name is known
across every city

- sun kil moon lyrics

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