sweeney todd – a little priest lyrics
mrs. lovett:
seems a downright shame…
todd: shame?
lovett:
seems an awful waste…
such a nice, plump frame
wot’s ‘is name has…
had…
has!
nor it can’t be traced…
bus’ness needs a lift,
debts to be erased…
think of it as thrift,
as a gift,
if you get my drift!
no?
seems an awful waste…
i mean, with the price of meat
what it is,
when you get it,
if you get it…
todd: hah!
lovett:
good, you got it!
take, for instance, mrs. mooney and her pie shop!
bus’ness never better using only p-ssycats and toast!
and a p-ssy’s good for maybe six or seven at the most!
and i’m sure they can’t compare as far as taste!
[simultaneously]
todd:
mrs. lovett, what a charming notion
lovett:
well, it does seem a waste…
todd:
eminently practical
and yet appropriate as always!
lovett:
it’s an idea…
todd:
mrs. lovett, how i’ve lived
without you all these years, i’ll never know!
how delectable!
also undetectable!
lovett:
think about it!
lots of other gentlemen’ll
soon be comin’ for a shave,
won’t they?
think of
all them
pies!
todd:
how choice!
how
rare!
todd:
for what’s the sound of the world out there?
lovett:
what, mr. todd?
what, mr. todd?
what is that sound?
todd:
those crunching noises pervading the air!
lovett:
yes, mr. todd!
yes, mr. todd!
yes, all around!
todd:
it’s man devouring man, my dear!
both:
and [lovett: then] who are we to deny it in here?
todd: (spoken) these are desperate times,
mrs. lovett, and desperate measures are called for!
lovett: here we are, now! hot out of the oven!
todd: what is that?
lovett:
it’s priest. have a little priest.
todd:
is it really good?
lovett:
sir, it’s too good, at least!
then again, they don’t commit sins of the flesh,
so it’s pretty fresh.
todd:
awful lot of fat.
lovett:
only where it sat.
todd:
haven’t you got poet, or something like that?
lovett:
no, y’see, the trouble with poet is
‘ow do you know it’s deceased?
try the priest!
todd: (spoken) heavenly!
not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,
but then again, not as bland as curate, either!
lovett:
and good for business, too — always leaves you wantin’
more!
trouble is, we only get it on sundays!
lawyer’s rather nice.
todd:
if it’s for a price.
lovett:
order something else, though, to follow,
since no one should swallow it twice!
todd:
anything that’s lean.
lovett:
well, then, if you’re british and loyal,
you might enjoy royal marine!
anyway, it’s clean.
though of course, it tastes of wherever it’s been!
todd:
is that squire,
on the fire?
lovett:
mercy no, sir, look closer,
you’ll notice it’s grocer!
todd:
looks thicker,
more like vicar!
lovett:
no, it has to be grocer —
it’s green!
todd:
the history of the world, my love —
lovett:
save a lot of graves,
do a lot of relatives favors!
todd:
is those below serving those up above!
lovett:
ev’rybody shaves,
so there should be plenty of flavors!
todd:
how gratifying for once to know
both:
that those above will serve those down below!
lovett: (spoken) now let’s see, here… we’ve got
tinker.
todd: something… pinker.
lovett: tailor?
todd: paler.
lovett: butler?
todd: subtler.
lovett: potter?
todd: hotter.
lovett: locksmith?
lovely bit of clerk.
todd:
maybe for a lark.
lovett:
then again there’s sweep
if you want it cheap
and you like it dark!
try the financier,
peak of his career!
todd:
that looks pretty rank.
lovett:
well, he drank,
it’s a bank
cashier.
never really sold.
maybe it was old.
todd:
have you any beadle?
lovett:
next week, so i’m told!
beadle isn’t bad till you smell it and
notice ‘ow well it’s been greased…
stick to priest!
(spoken) now then, this might be a little bit stringy,
but then of course it’s… fiddle player!
todd: no, this isn’t fiddle player — it’s piccolo
player!
lovett: ‘ow can you tell?
todd: it’s piping hot!
lovett: then blow on it first!
todd:
the history of the world, my sweet —
lovett:
oh, mr. todd,
ooh, mr. todd,
what does it tell?
todd:
is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
lovett:
and, mr. todd,
too, mr. todd,
who gets to sell!
todd:
but fortunately, it’s also clear
both:
that [l: but] ev’rybody goes down well with beer!
lovett: (spoken)
since marine doesn’t appeal to you, ‘ow about… rear
admiral?
todd: too salty. i prefer general.
lovett: with, or without his privates? “with” is extra.
todd: what is that?
lovett:
it’s fop.
finest in the shop.
and we have some shepherd’s pie peppered
with actual shepherd on top!
and i’ve just begun —
here’s the politician, so oily
it’s served with a doily,
have one!
todd:
put it on a bun.
well, you never know if it’s going to run!
lovett:
try the friar,
fried, it’s drier!
todd:
no, the clergy is really
too co-rs- and too mealy!
lovett:
then actor,
that’s compacter!
todd:
yes, and always arrives overdone!
i’ll come again when you have judge on the menu!
lovett: (spoken) wait! true, we don’t have judge yet,
but we’ve got something you might fancy even better.
todd: what’s that?
lovett: executioner!
todd:
have charity towards the world, my pet!
lovett:
yes, yes, i know, my love!
todd:
we’ll take the customers that we can get!
lovett:
high-born and low, my love!
todd:
we’ll not discriminate great from small!
no, we’ll serve anyone,
meaning anyone,
both:
and to anyone
at all!
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