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t the w - r45.84 (icd-10) lyrics

“i used to think you were different
i used to think you were like me
just attracted to the darkness
you are the darkness
i love you but you have to pay for what you’ve done”

every memory fades like tears in the rain
each laugh an abstraction, a painting of pain
i’m a moth to the flame, but the fire feels cold
anhedonia is a thief, and my spirit is been sold
still, i bleed through the ink, let my demons take form
hope the darkness i write can weather this storm
it’s a labyrinth of longing whеre the walls close in
whеre pleasure is just a concept, paper+thin within
the sun doesn’t rise here, the clocks don’t tick
i’m stuck in a timeline where the moments don’t stick
every smile is a mask, every touch feels cold
like frostbitten fingers on a heart that won’t hold
i’m a requiem sung to a hollow tune
a poet of the shadows, baptized by the moon
if this is living, then i’ve died every day
anhedonia is my chapel, where i kneel and i pray

“constance said you needed help. you knew you were dead”

yeah, floating on high from a birds eye view
let me down slow, no return flight due
learned how to burn from the girl i knew
i’m carrying her disease and with mine too
the darkness that lives deep inside you
i’ll put up a fight with death with one rule
floating on high from a birds eye view
let me down slow, no return flight due
learned how to burn from the girl i knew
i’m carrying her disease and with mine too
the darkness that lives deep inside you
i’ll put up a fight with death with one rule
she’s never coming near my love again and bloom
she’s never coming near my love again and bloom

“and what i don’t understand is… is how come everybody else isn’t screaming too, and i…
i try to find ways to make myself feel something more
and more and more, but it… doesn’t make any difference
i wake up and i think again, i have to do this again?
no matter what i do, i don’t feel anything”

this maze, i’m lost in its grip where the seasons don’t change
but the mirror’s an abyss staring back with disdain
every shard of myself lost deep in the grain
i’m a phantom that’s framed in a snapshot of sorrow
the past won’t release me, no faith in tomorrow
schizoid masquerade, wear the mask of the hollow
while avoidant fears bloom, which i can’t swallow
a silhouette, stitched in the threads of regret
where the thrill of the hunt is a pursuit i forget

pleasure is a stranger, never lingers or stays
joy is a faded echo trapped in permanent haze
every word is a confession, every line is a scar
i map the constellations of the wounds i mar
the world is painted in colors, but i see it in ash
every hand i avoid is another bond i crash
i’m drowning in the silence, no highs, no lows
anhedonia is my prison, and the chains don’t show
i’m a prisoner of numbness, a captive of care
every gaze feels invasive, every hug is a snare
no highs to the lows, just the sp+ce in between
where emotions dissolve into nameless scenes
i write in the dark, hoping words might redeem
but the ink is just as hollow as the sp+ce in my dreams
still i long for the warmth that i push away
caught in cycles of silence, night turns to day
every laugh is just a distant tone
“you’re sorry”
i’m ghost and alive

floating on high from a birds eye view
let me down slow, no return flight due
learned how to burn from the girl i knew
i’m carrying her disease and with mine too
the darkness that lives deep inside you
i’ll put up a fight with death with one rule
she’s never coming near my love again and bloom
she’s never coming near my love again and bloom

yeah, floating on high from a birds eye view
let me down slow, no return flight due
learned how to burn from the girl i knew
i’m carrying her disease and with mine too
the darkness that lives deep inside you
i’ll put up a fight with death with one rule
she’s never coming near my love again and bloom
she’s never coming near my love again and bloom

- t the w lyrics

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