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tell parris what? - nightmare lyrics

smile, because it confuses people
smile, because it’s easier than explaining what’s k!lling you inside

i was having my first therapy session with dr. harleen quinzel
arkham asylum is such a dump
bare walls, empty halls, empty skulls; and the company is such a bore!
until this blond bombsh-ll with alphabet soup sat across from me, tried to cure me of my insanity
things are finally getting interesting…
my straight jacket could barely contain my enthusiasm…
she gazed at me with a hunger that reminded me of bats…
i told her i wanted a machine-gun, and her eyes said she’d oblige
she asked about my childhood and i’m ashamed i told her lies
i asked if she wanted to know how i got these scars, now she’s really seeing stars
she asked if i had a spirit animal, and i told her i’d rather run over puppies with cars

then just like that our sessions over, and i’m eating tapioca with the batman’s latest capture
edward nigma, you might know him as “the riddla’”
he’ll be drinking from a straw this time around
bat’s hits a little harder each time we come unbound
and… it’s exercise time!
bane’s lifting ten times his weight, and dent’s talking to himself in the mirror
i’m walking the treadmill, trying to keep out of the girl’s gossip
with the good doctor in town, the envy is just to die for…

i lie awake all night antic-p-ting out next session
i wonder what she’ll wear
how she’ll do her hair
will she bring a machine-gun to share?
how she’d look in electric chair…
(sigh)
it’s the little things i guess…

the magic hour finally arrives
“no uzi today, mr. j,” she smiles
“well, i’d have preferred and ak.”
“i’ll keep that in mind”
she can’t hide the hunger, she didn’t even try! (try)

rorschach test after test
so many questions about my childhood
i can tell she hasn’t been getting any sleep
when i slip out of my straight jacket she barely makes a peep!

“i’ve been saving this for you…”
and she hands me an ak-47, draco, pistol addition
gold plated, with “joker” engraved on the side
“i guess it’ll do”
“what are you going to do?”
the possibilities wash over me; i should have thought this through
“to the cafeteria my pet, i’m craving tapioca!”
“puddin’!” she creams, and pulls out a glock-19

arkham guards fall like wheat under the sickle
she had magazines stashed all over
like she’d been planning this for weeks

we skip into the cafeteria, lovers arm in arm
“toot’s you get the puddin’, i’ll find us a car!”
this loony-bin’s security is far too lax…
minutes later we’re speeding off in the warden’s cl-ssy convertible

the bat signal’s in the sky, and she’s spooning tapioca in my mouth
i tell you i’ve never felt so alive!
the bat mobile’s on our tail and i say
“toot’s you drive!”
this ak’s no good…
bats hits the trunk with a poon…
now would be a good time for my goons to show!

the thump of the chopper accompanies the rope ladder that just fell in my lap
now dr. quinzel and i are fred astaire and ginger rogers
flying cheek to cheek
and the batman’s left all alone
that dirty rotten pipsqueak!

then she says to me, “i may look happy, but honestly dear, the only way i will really smile is if you cut me ear to ear.”

“well… as my plastic surgeon always says, if you gotta go, go with a smile!”

(laugh)

- tell parris what lyrics

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