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te/mo (teagan earley) - mother i lyrics

[verse 1]
the doctor mumbles, he seems bored
guess my worst fear is just a chore
deep breath in he probes inside
who’s the brave face for? who’s by my side?

unless i’m not alone
and that’s just why i came
if someone made a home of me
then i believe i owe them a name

[chorus]
so hey god, if you’re up there guess this proves that you’re a man
don’t think that you would send this if you really understand
on the outside, made me soft, a place for all to rest their heads
but inside you made me empty, hard, my belly full of lead

cuz somehow motherhood’s the only thing i’ve known for sure
so what is left if mother’s not for sure anymore
please doctor, cut me open, scoop out all that’s in the way
oh doctor, will you hollow me? make room for them to stay

[verse 2]
he seems scared to voice the news
as if i haven’t guessed for years
“god just built you backwards, girl
but, otherwise
you’re in the clear”
“aren’t you relieved?” he says
“now you’re free another day”
so flippant
as if mother weren’t the first word
i ever learned to say

[chorus]
so hey god, if you’re up there guess this proves that you’re a man
don’t think that you’d have made me this if you really understand
on the outside, i am soft a place for all to rest their heads
but inside you made me empty, hard, my belly full of lead

cuz somehow motherhood’s the only thing i’ve known for sure
so what is left if mother’s not for sure anymore
please mother, cut me open, scoop out all that’s in the way
oh mother, will you hollow me make room for them to stay

[bridge]
cuz how can i just let it go?
i’m only 23
that’s too d+mn young to have to come to terms with what this means
i’ll finally grow up now that i’m choking on the dust
and to survive, i’ll shrug it off, i’ll smile, i’ll adjust

i’ll tuck the dream of you away forever, or for now
you were just make believe a fairytale, anyhow
this sense of unborn purpose it belongs up on the shelf
but now that you’re gone i find that i am just a child myself
[chorus]
so hey god, if you’re up there, please take away this lot
i know i haven’t earned it but they still deserve a shot
on the outside i will carry on, keep breathing, raise my head
but inside i’m slowly dying from my belly full of lead

cuz mother was the only thing i’ve ever known for sure
so what is left of me, if i can’t be a mother anymore
please someone, cut me open, scoop out all that’s in the way
oh mother, you have hollowed me make room for me to stay

[outro]
oh mother god, can you hear me?
oh mother can you hear me god?
mother
can you hear me?
mother, can you hear me… god

- temo teagan earley lyrics

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