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the acid flashback at nightmare beach - on the way home lyrics

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on the way home i became hopeful
that i wasn’t the only one who changed over time
but growth is never linear
and i can’t describe

how broken i’ve felt most days that i’ve been alive
no matter how hard you try, nothing will turn out right
all alone, forget the christmas lights
open up your f+cking eyes

admitting you were wrong but never in real life
just in my dreams and the dream has died
only communicate through silence, conversation deprived
if it wasn’t for judy, i would not be alive

stopped eating acid, it’s like learning to crawl
when life becomes lifeless, the thrill of it all
slips out of your body and into the past
a deal with the devil won’t bring any of it back

wish there was a version of you that still exists
like when i was a kid, but no manipulative sh+t
thought making me upset with you was better than hating myself
don’t know what to think right now cuz no one told me how i felt

i’m afraid to talk
when no one listens at all
i’m afraid to call
cause every time i fall
isolate
record this sh+t all day
i smoked thirty blunts this week
but i still feel insane



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