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the axis of awesome - song for the elderly lyrics

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the old man sits on a chair in my lounge room
his face has seen years, his eyes have shed tears
he’s been through a lifetime, his friends have all gone
he waits in his chair as i walk down the stair

he look up at me and his face forms a smile
his eyes fill with life as he notices me
his body is ancient, yet he looks so happy
he opens his mouth and greets me with glee

i look at the old man, i smile politely
i shake his leathery hand
he gets to his to feet and i look in his eye
i open my mouth and address the old man

how did you get in my house, old man
i don’t know who you are
you seem like a very sweet, nice, old man
but i don’t know who you are

the old man laughs and calls me tobias
he thinks it’s a game when i say my real name
he asks how my wife is and how are my children
i tell him i’m single, he laughs it away

he walks to the kitchen and he puts on the kettle
he asks me if i want some tea
i tell him okay and the water starts boiling
he fills up my cup and hands it to me

i’m sorry but that isn’t milk, old man
i still don’t know who you are
you’ve put mayonnaise in my tea old man
and i don’t know who you are

the old man stops, i think i’ve upset him
his smile disappears, his eyes fill with tears
he puts down the teacup, looks up at me slowly
and says “dear toby, i hate those j-ps.”

i wander upstairs and i fetch some trousers
he puts them on in the usual way
he tells me that he doesn’t know where he’s going
i say there’s a room and that he can stay

you can live in my house old man
i don’t care who you are
you’re pretty racist but funny old man
and i quite like who you are

yes i quite like who you are



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