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the babylon bee - facts (extended version) lyrics

[verse 1: tom macdonald]
they call me offensive, controversial
there’s only two genders, boys and girls
they can’t cancel my message ’cause i’m the biggest independent rapper in the whole freaking world
claim that i’m racist, yeah, alright
i’m not ashamed because i’m white
if every caucasian’s a bigot, i guess every muslim’s a terrorist, every liberal is right
i don’t wanna talk to folks who don’t get it (tss)
go woke, go broke, no hope, it’s pathetic
pro+choice, pr+nouns, pro+love, you’re progressives
but you ain’t pro+gun, no one to protect it
where the american flags at?
remember when people would hang those?
they’ve been taken down, they all been replaced with blm flags or a rainbow

[pre+chorus: tom macdonald]
this ain’t rap, this ain’t money, cars, and clothes
we ain’t sellin’ drugs, we ain’t gonna overdose
we ain’t pushing guns, ain’t promoting stripper poles
we won’t turn your sons into thugs or your daughters into hoes

[chorus: tom macdonald]
i don’t care if i offend you
i was put here to upset you
you can cry and you can scream, you can riot in the streets
you defunded the police, now there’s no one to protect you
i hope i offend you
i ask myself, “what would ben do?”
let’s just keep it real, facts don’t care how you feel, man
if you want my pr+nouns, i’m the man, i’m the man who don’t respect you
[verse 2: ben shapiro, ben shapiro & tom macdonald]
let’s look at the stats, i’ve got the facts
my money like lizzo, my pockets are fat
homie, i’m epic, don’t be a wap
dog, it’s a yarmulke, homie, no cap
look at the graphs, look at my charts
you’re blowing money on strippers and cars
you’re going to prison, i’m on television
dog, no one knows who you are
keep hating on me on the internet
my comments section all woke karens
and i make racks off compound interest
y’all live with your parents
nicki, take some notes, i just did this for fun
all my people, download this, let’s get a billboard number one

[verse 3]
y’all wanna talk about race? fine
we’ll lay it out on the bass line
‘cause it seemed like before ‘44 we could all get along
so how did we decline?
let’s take a train back to the past (past)
and ask, “who built those tracks?”
only thing that held the yellow folk back
was affirmative action, so
forget all the lies you bought
forget all the drivel your colleges taught
it’s not ‘cause of color, it’s ‘cause of “the other”
the only oppression you have is your thoughts
for scores of years we couldn’t intermarry
now the only freedom we don’t have is eating dairy
if i’m wrong, i’ll recant it
blame it all on the fact that my vision was slanted
[verse 4: kyle mann]
yo, yo, yo
let me drop some facts too
rachel levine is a woman through and through
blacks are k!lled by police at outsized rates
and that’s a fact ‘cause people tell me it’s true, foo
y’all are bigots, and i know what that means
i just looked it up in the dictionary
a book that conforms to our every need
when a 1 is not 2 and a 2 is not 3
you think you’re the kippah of facts, ben?
withstand all my verbal attacks then
‘cause words are violence so is silence
especially of straight men
a baby’s not a baby, karl marx was kewl
trump is literally hitler, gassing the jews
i stand with hamas, what is it they do?

[chorus: tom macdonald]
i don’t care if i offend you
i was put here to upset you
you can cry and you can scream, you can riot in the streets
you defunded the police, now there’s no one to protect you
i hope i offend you
i ask myself, “what would ben do?”
let’s just keep it real, facts don’t care how you feel, man
if you want my pr+nouns, i’m the man, i’m the man who don’t respect you
[bridge: tom macdonald]
you mad, you mad, you mad
i guess it’s cool to be the victim, well, i’ma be the man
you sad, you sad, you sad
you just try to get attention, being triggered’s all you have
you mad, you mad, you mad
you blame everybody else for every problem that you can
you sad, you sad, you sad
i will never say i’m sorry, i ain’t taking nothing back

- the babylon bee lyrics

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