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the beards - this beard stays lyrics

my dad had a beard!
’cause my dad wasn’t sh-t!
and when he died i decided i
would grow one just like it!
i grew it large and i grew it long!
i grew it thick and i grew it strong!
then i had to get a job
but at the job interview
they told me i’d have to shave
the beard that i had just grew!
they said ‘we have a no-beard policy’!
i said ‘you can’t do this to me!’
i said:
i won’t shave!
i won’t do what you say!
i won’t shave!
i’m not gonna shave my beard away
i won’t listen to what you say
i dont’ need your welfare, don’t need your pay!
this beard is mine!
and this! beard! stays!
i said ‘this beard stays!’
so i went to central lake
thought i’d get me some welfare
but the lady at the counter
didn’t like my facial hair!
she said ‘you’ll have to shave first, sir’
so i stood up, and yelled this at her:
(oh i yelled:)
i won’t shave!
i won’t do what you say!
i won’t shave!
i’m not gonna shave my beard away
i won’t listen to what you say
i dont’ need your welfare, don’t need your pay!
this beard is mine!
and this! beard! stays!
so i wandered far from home
travelling across the land
and i spread my bearded message
singing in my novelty band!
so if you’re bearded and you’re proud!
sing with us, and sing it loud!
we’ll all sing:
we won’t shave!
we won’t do what you say!
we won’t shave!
we’re not gonna shave our beards away
we’ve got beards, and that’s okay
you’re not a real father anyway
these beards are ours!
and these! beards! stay!
and ‘this beard stays!’
these! beards! stay!
these! beards! stay!
beards

- the beards lyrics

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