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the big function - the functional song lyrics

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my d+ck ain’t big but i always leave her soaking

with a ginger mormon boy and boy do i wanna choke him

his three inch pincher, she gives him some red head

i might not rock her sh+t but sometimes they let me rock the bed

at least i get my own planet cause i

planted those seeds

instead of planting my seed

but on my plantain she feeds

f+cked a nun in missionary

f+cked a b+tch in doggy

f+cked a cowgirl in + well actually she f+cked me, i got pegged

gave some w d

to a 40 year old virgin
but she was way too tight

i pried her open like a surgeon

she calls me heath ledger

cause i broke her back on the mountain

she also calls me bill cosby

i’m not sure why

i spend so much at mcdonalds

the employees wanna f+ck me

lemme see your shamrock shake

like the american economy

they call me big mac

i use a condiment cause i ain’t dirty

enough jizz flyin’ around
to make an oreo mcflurry

nutella was a girl named ella

then she met me

took a trip to virginia

and now they call it ia!

my parents told me study hard

i didn’t put up a fight

now i rep calculus with the left

and pop v++gr+ with my right

putting my pudding in her puh with my ding

a+ling i think i’m gonna give her a ring

oh no this ain’t just a fling

she’s doin tricks on my thing
and all while wearing a g+string

f+cked a clown

had her squirting from her flower

she was honking my name

for like 3 hours

yeah she slipped on my banana peel

i pied her in the face

we f+cked in her clown car

and went back to her place

she referred me to her home girl

who was silent the whole time

was she a himalayan monk?

no, she was a mime!

now this mime was a freak

i only paid for one meal

she acted stuck in a box

but i did it for real

the horse’s name was friday

they call me that too!

‘cept a horse has got 10 inches

and i’ve got a respectable two

they say friday comes too late

well, i certainly don’t

just cracked 10 seconds

call me usain bolt

but i’m always cracking 10s

that ain’t a new occurrence

just doin’ her a favor

some service to her cervix

now i’m always breaking hymens but i’m never getting high, man

still, i’m high+quality when you use a hyphen

i got rhymes and dna both with incredible timing

the way i break her nether region

you can call me diamond

pickaxe, but you’ll never see me pick ass

cause i’m a tits man br++sts always kick ass

my d+ck goes straight to her brain, call me synapse

she’s addicted to my diction and i think i’ll let her relapse

- the big function lyrics

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