the chef express - bitch i'm cookin' lyrics
[verse 1: colerad]
lamar thought he was a tough guy
he had a girl she was kind of shy
he took her to waffle house
little did he know he would run into his spouse
she was sitting in the corner with a tall man
he a had mustache with a name tag that read stan
oh man, god d-mn
lamar remembered about his side girl who said
lamar whats wrong i thought you was hungry can we sit down
all of a sudden lamar and his wife locked eyes and shit was about to go down
she was with a man, he was with a woman
even the waitress knew what was boomin’
lamar said it’s nothing babe it just smells so good
come on lets sit down and lets get some food
so the naughty couple sat down
the waitress saw lamar with a queasy frown
lamar yelled hey watch where your eyes are lookin’
and then she said three magical words
[hook]
b-tch i’m cookin’
(i know how to cook)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(cookin’ ain’t easy)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(i’m cooking’ everyday of my life)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(cookin’ everyday of my life)
[verse 2: gmc]
rolled in smooth in my f-cking chevy
and i drop four fifty on your motherf-ckers record
pulled out with my capital levy
cause i spend so much money cookin it up with the heavens
and i feel like you don’t need to know me
cause i f-cked your sister jody last night
and she be cheating on me every d-mn night
now at dennys
now she’s so dirty i can’t even be cooking
i can’t even take one last looking
i wish i was cook-a-booking
but for another hoe
now my body’s all mirty
with your flirty
that i can’t even see past your big turties
man g i can’t even see my bars be spilling
my last rose schemes man i missed so yo
f-ck yo hoe -ss b-tch n-gg- titties
thats why i love the cooking at dennys
and i eat plenty
[hook]
b-tch i’m cookin’
(i know how to cook)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(cookin’ ain’t easy)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(i’m cooking’ everyday of my life)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(cookin’ everyday of my life)
[verse 3: colerad]
lamar left the waffle house feeling good
probably a little more than he really should
he was walking up to his car
his girl wrapped up under his arm
he pulled out the keys to unlock the door
but there was his wife creeping like a crow
she got in his face talking shit then came stan
driving up in the parking lot in a van
he pulled out a four five
shot lamar’s girl in the spine
but you know theres more when a white man doing the crime
he beat her with a hammer
picked her up
threw her over his shoulder
then slammed her
the wife was freaking
lamar not speaking
stan standing there
in the blood that was leaking
the waitress saw the whole thing go down
from a little window in the waffle house
she turned around and grabbed a pot
she was a little shooken but the she said
b-tch i’m cookin’
[hook]
b-tch i’m cookin’
(i know how to cook)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(cookin’ ain’t easy)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(i’m cooking’ everyday of my life)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(cookin’ everyday of my life)
[verse 4: gmc]
little did you know
i throw the flow
i once put twenty fours
on my four door
i once had gold plated forties
that fit real nice with my shorties
i really did like this flow
but i’m gonna change it up real slow
this rap can’t be done
this b-tch can’t be won
there is nothing that can be done
i wish i didn’t cheat on my wife
i wish i didn’t f-ck up my life
i wish i didn’t k!ll that b-tch
it really was me that k!lled that b-tch
shit
now i’m motherf-cking cookin’ at dennys
im so f-cking depressed i might as well die
just keep cookin’
[hook]
b-tch i’m cookin’
(i know how to cook)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(cookin’ ain’t easy)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(i’m cooking’ everyday of my life)
b-tch i’m cookin’
(cookin’ everyday of my life)
[outro] x2
when you think your done (just start cookin’)
if it ain’t fun (just start cookin’)
when you meet a hun (just start cookin’)
if you ain’t got none (just start cookin’)
when you make it swish (just start cookin’)
did you f-ck a b-tch (just start cookin’)
don’t it smell like fish (just start cookin’)
want to make a dish (just start cookin’)
[conversation]
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