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the crooked, yet fabulous onion - the pendulum swings lyrics

i was invited to
an ancient ritual

i was to bring the sacred key
the sacred key which i have
bestowed upon me
[?]
[?] with my godd+mn shoes, you hear me?

i’ve been trudging through the desert for at least eleven days
now i’m going to an island
where i can just lay in place
my retirement

but i have to return the key
otherwise i will be drowned in the sea
along with you, and me
and everything that we can see
we will be flooded by this misery
i say
i’ve been trudging across the desert for at least eleven days
and i am absolutely tired
my palms are absolutely just dried out from all this godd+mn heat

yeah, you know what?
i’m tired
i’ve been trudging across this desert for at least eleven days
i just wanna see my family, you hear me?
[instrumental break]

below the [?]
i’m getting really tired
and i look for something to drink
moving around the old castles

i look up to one of the castles
and i see
a figure staring back at me
he calls out to me

he says, you look like you’re thirsty
why don’t you come here?
and i got a godd+mn horse, and a horse, and another horse
a godd+mn stable in my castle out here
a godd+mn stable and i got water for you

oh
i mean i couldn’t resist this offer, i couldn’t
when i see a man
that is very fond of horses, i mean
isn’t that the most trustworthy thing you’ve ever seen in your life?
i mean i couldn’t say no so i stepped right in to the castle
it was lit by embers
scattered across the hallway
i saw the figure, he introduced himself
as mister green gasoline
i said, why don’t you give me a cup of water
and i would really [?]

so he said, yes i will
but first you need to pass my three tests
i said, what the h+ll, a test?
i didn’t sign up for anything like this
i’m so [?]
godd+mn castles in my [?]

and i agreed
i mean what was i to do?
i mean i was starving
walking, trudging across this desert for eleven days and godd+mn
i’m thirsty

so i agreed
he said, get on your knees and tell me
tell me what you see
and then he held out his hand
and i was [?]
i was [?] somewhere else

interdimensional highway travel
beyond the realms that the mind could even perceive
i mean i’ve been [?] across the desert for eleven days
now i’m going across this interstellar highway
what am i gonna do?
i need to get to the castle
otherwise we’re gonna be in trouble
so i was
i was [?] along
i was [?] along on this cosmic voyage
i’m really hungry
i thought to myself i could
i could use some porridge or something
and as if my prayers have been answered
by the great onion above
a large steaming bowl of porridge is in front of me
finally some good [?]

i took an apple
and [?]
i froze
i can see the stars above me, oh i froze
and i was greeted by a voice
a very silly voice
quite a peculiar voice, and it said:

now this is the first of the many trials that you will face on your journey
to deliver the key
you must show that you are prosperous
that is, to show prosperity

i said, what the h+ll’s going on here?
what the h+ll could this mean?
what am i doing here?

i appear once again
in a slightly more familiar hallway this time
the figure looked at me
he said, this is no trickery
this is divine intervention

- the crooked yet fabulous onion lyrics

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