the department of darkness - overruled lyrics
your honor, i represent a mr. thomas in this matter
his tragedy could not be sadder
he’s been the victim in every altercation
from humiliating injury to injurious humiliation
-ssaults with kitchen implements and fire
false imprisonments, bisection by piano wire
my client’s tired, hopes a quick conclusion
seeks a protection order and rest-tution
your honor, if it pleases the court
my client, mr. gerald, will defend and support
his own innocence, providing ample proof that imparts
the fact the plaintiff’s claims against him are an absolute farce
mr. thomas is the one who’s been abusive and violent
for seventy years, and now he tries to buy my client’s silence
with a costly, embarr-ssing trial and quote “clear his name”
but the truth will cloud his tall tales, and justice will rain, thank you
your honor, my client is the victim in this
oh please, your honor, my client moves to dismiss
counselor, you think my client’s a fool?
go chase an ambulance! – objection! – overruled!
your honor, my client’s suffered enough
your honor, my client’s claims cannot be rebuffed
counselor, curious, where’d you go to school?
cooley law? – objection! – overruled!
your honor, we bring our client under oath
he’s never been verbose, that’s how trauma goes
but please, if you are able, mr. thomas, indicate
if your seemingly mousy tormentor is with us today (point him out)
mr. thomas, isn’t it true
that in 1950, ‘vember 25th with a pool cue
you beat my sleeping client, an act of unprovoked aggression?
it was all caught on film, no further questions
your honor, we call mr. gerald to the stand
tell us about the axes and cigars and the pans
that thomas used when switched from kitten to vicious
i thank you for your bravery – your witness
mr. gerald, have you no conscience at all?
you triumphed whenever you met, or can’t you recall
you left him beset by the plasters, in tractions
the proof is in every lights camera action
your honor, the plaintiff’s whole case is out of order
your honor, the defendant has a mental disorder
counselor, why must you be so cruel?
has no one loved you? – objection! – overruled!
your honor, his client’s history is checkered
your honor, we ask that that be stricken from the record
counselor fix-it man, your client’s a tool
p-ssy! rat! – objection! – overruled!
your honor, we’ve presented the whole of our pet-tion
and here before the court without contrition
this respondent sits
projected evidence of cruelty gave him giggle fits
while my client’s despondentness
spoke to us all along, it fits
the pattern of antagonist and innocent
we rest, and trust justice is imminent
your honor, as our evidence has proven
my client’s suffered at the hands of an abusive
animal and as for the handful of events
of violence by my client: all self-defense
and any other claims otherwise are simply lies
i mean, i literally represent the little guy
given this, plus the plaintiff’s behavior
we are certain that today the court will rule in our favor (thank you)
your honor, my client is the victim in this
oh please, your honor, my client moves to dismiss
counselor, you think my client’s a fool?
go chase an ambulance! – objection! – overruled!
your honor, my client’s suffered enough
your honor, my client’s claims cannot be rebuffed
counselor, curious, where’d you go to school?
devry law? – objection! – overruled!
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