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the doveridge mafia - dom porridge lyrics

joe: porritt got his bollucks whacked in pe
he was holding them all the way through dt
porritt has no mates and is a c-nt
that is why he is called a runt
porridge never comes out to play
porritt stays at home, scared to look away
porridge is always getting older
and soon his hair will get much, much balder

rob: we have always hated tom and called him a b-tch
everytime he walks on to the pitch, he will ripped apart by marcus coombs
he wears size 4 shoes like a runt
and will always lose in wembo like a big c-nt

watto: tom porritt
wealdstone raider: you’ve got no fans, you’ve got no fans

randy: porritt, the runt, won’t last the whole winter
i liked hamish’s mum, so i sh-gged her
all tom wants to do is play some football
even tho he can do f-ck all
when he’s angry, fellow runts he will summon
he knows he will never have s-x with a women
however dom dosen’t care anyway
for the rest of his life he wants to be gay

tom: there is a group in doveridge called the runts
they are c-nts
they sit there all day waiting to be helped
but no, that’s the lift a runt
a little c-nt

alan partridge: oh well this is great banter, it really is

matty: he comes on the pitch
asking for -ssistance
contributing nothing
and offering runty little resistance
communicating in grunts
and high pitch squeals
that make you want to puke up your meals
he is about 3 foot 5 tall
and is weak and loses every brawl
toms a runt and although he won’t admit it
porridge really is a little sh-t

ben: a runt like porritt has no friends
and will continue to until his life ends
a runt will get beaten up everyday
and isn’t worth any of my first aid
porridge is always scared and will always hide
don’t expect him to put up a fight

george: the puney runts are ropey
and act hard, like a stokie
the runty ropey breeders
scurry off to the artroom
getting runted off the ball
by the bigguns, that are far more tall

howard: i know a runt
who acts like a c-nt
his name is tom porritt
and he’s the size of a hobbitt
and there he is the little f-cker
sitting down and eating pucka… pies
with the intention and contention
to be bigger and stronger and higher
not smaller
as a birthday treat his mrs let him stick it up who counthole
it did not work so tried to put it in the mouthhole
she cried a blead but porritt laughed
and said no more, i’ll slap a wh-r-
and go home with the back door behind my -ss hole

phillipa: what do you want in your sandwiches
rob bradley: porrrrrrrrriiiiiittttttttttttttt

phillipa: porritt joined us for a 3 hour sandwich

phillipa: daddy porritt hurt me
rob bradley: porrrrriiiiittttttt i said poooooorrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiitttttt

o.t genesis: i’m in love with the…
reado: runt

- the doveridge mafia lyrics

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