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the fiery furnaces - a candymaker's knife in my handbag lyrics

a candymaker’s knife in my handbag

a night out in the tropics
turned out i couldn’t cope
after the school of fancy cookery
with antoinette pope

i learned brazing and saucing, meringue and sift
knead, flute and flour
each thursday for an hour

cobblers and plum cakes, tarts savory and sweet
a candymaker’s knife in my handbag
a candymaker’s knife in my handbag

well i learned brazing and saucing, meringue and sift
knead, flute and flour
each thursday for an hour

cobblers and plum cakes, tarts savory and sweet
a candymaker’s knife in my handbag
a candymaker’s knife in my handbag

that night i was to meet my husband’s father, for the very first time

i wore the scarf he sent to me
french silk, scarlet blue and cream
he sits, he waits, a coffee on his knee
i wonder if it’s as bad as it might seem

zapped by the zombie
zapped, zapped by the zombie
zapped by the zombie in the two-door dodge
twice-baked brioche and pastry pockets
and lock it’s two-door dodge

zapped by the zombie
zapped, zapped by the zombie
zapped by the zombie in the two-door dodge

and i did not fail
to bust off a nail as the dodge door handle dodges my hand
delicate, delicate hold my hand
delicate nectarine upside-down chiffon cake
dodge down the downtown loop the loop lightly
hazelnut baby loaves
hazelnut baby loaves
hold my hand inside-out upside-down marzipan milanese
my brain is a blur
hodge-podge – cardinal slice – two-door, brand new
what am i gonna do
’cause on the street the amber lights were h-llish hot
and the wind in the windows was not giving air
and tropical napeolons
but it was too late and i didn’t care
and i didn’t care

because first i went to meet dr. christopolous and his wife claudette
who at the time was my close girlfriend
they picked my up in their brand-new dodge
and we went to trader vic’s, or mr. rick’s
and i ordered, like the others, a zombie
and it bombed me, it just bombed me
and when we got to the stoop my father-in-law said “were you attacked?”
my aunt, being helpful, said something that made my heart just go sunk
and with a look on her face like something had stunk
“she’s just drunk!” she hissed

i reached for the arm of the armchair and missed

a night out in the tropics
turned out i couldn’t cope
after the school of fancy cookery
with antoinette pope

i wore the scarf he sent to me
french silk, scarlet blue and cream
he sits, he waits, a coffee on his knee
i wonder if it’s as bad as it might seem

- the fiery furnaces lyrics

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