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the former fat boys - the legend of hard corey lyrics

hard corey, he’s got guns
he’s gon k!ll everyone
hard corey, locked and loaded
c-cked and bloated
where’s he goin
hard corey he’s got swords
he’s coming for my -ss and yours
no one’s safe cept cuddly things
not hard corey’s out to k!ll everything

hard corey’s waving nun chucks
smacking bad guys, grabbing dumb sluts
he’s so hard, yet he’s so soft
i offer help, but get waved off
hard corey’s c-ckslapping people
a sideways church, swinging its steeple
smacks one moves on does it again
please allow me to introduce, ladies and gentlemen
this is the tale, this is the story
this is the legend of hard corey

leaps tall buildings in a single plane
they call him hard corey cuz that’s his name
get out of his way cuz his mind is warped
played to many video games and not enough sports
and he’s got a sword he won’t be ignored he’s f-cked up
slashing, gashing caffeine doped up
and his mom says no
but she’s ignored
hard corey keeps on
cuz this is war
rural areas farms and such
cows chickens giraffes corn cobs for lunch
taking out towns, follows his hunch
innocent civilians knocked out with one punch
k!lls a bunch, pauses his hunt
finds the scent, hard corey’s works never done
moves on looking for more fun
heads westward towards the setting sun
look out everyone, best get moving
hard corey’s superhuman, never losin
always hard, in your backyard
you can’t run or hide if he’s pulled your card

corey’s a rebel not giving a shit
puts on his gl-sses sees the world in 8 bit
fingerblast your b-tch, like he was captain n
only watches reruns what’s happenin
he’s blastin cats, while he’s tappin -ss
b-tches don’t stand a chance in his habitat
inspect that pussy he’s a wise -ss owl
always askin me why i’m so low brow
d-ck’s low to ground so low key
lord of f-ck doing miracles for free
raising the dead with surreal beats
hard corey’s for dinner, he beats your meat
more sped up then dennis quaid
stuck inside your head like its innerspace
the kids crazy, the kids racous
the kids nuts, they hang out when he’s walking
through his shorts or his pants, its doesn’t matter which
drags em on the cement if they starts to itch
twirls em round his head like a bolo whip
then he poof disappears like he’s tygra’s kid
and his mom’s cheetarah cuz he sees the past
losin his hair’s all part of the plan
part lex luthor part clark kent
the first bald superman frank miller presents
the future of heroes, the real dark knight
muhammad ali, george bush, vanilla ice
hard corey vs. them and iron mike
you tell who me who would win in a fight
the odds are sick, the bets are big
the crowrd goes wild when he enters the ring
he’s k!lls all comers, then k!lls don king
hits the buffet and doesn’t leave a thing

leads his horse to a river, makes it drink
makes its walk, makes it stand up, makes it fart even makes it talk
behind his beard ain’t another fist just a bunch of chins
sidekick out of nowhere cuz he’s stealing this schtick
chuck norris walks in feeling kinda cliche
corey rips his throat out, and walks away
body destroyed like corey planned this
chuck reunited with jonathan brandis
sheaths the kitana he brandished
ninja vanish, like tatsu, except corey dances
hard corey doesn’t sleep he m-st-rb-t-s
surround by a hundred hoes with tiny waists
and the girls crowd around get it all on they face
cuz he eats pineapple for the aftertaste
and i’m gonna be his sidekick so i’m lifting weights
and i bought a couple suits alls we need is capes

- the former fat boys lyrics

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