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the green leaves - purgatory lyrics

in this purgatory the only guarantee is compounding
dissatisfaction and lack of understanding of what
surrounds me without any comprehension of what
i could have possibly done to deserve to be sent to
this endless purgatory
it’s dumbfounding
imagine for a moment, the same split second
separated and serrated inserted into your psyche
the same moments being relived repeatedly
unbearably unavoidable, your eyes forced open to look
into the endless tunnel that is the abyss
the same moments being relived repeatedly
do i deserve this?
do i deserve this dreadful, pitiful existence
stripped of all purpose?
if i do deserve this, what have i done?
i seek understanding almost as much as i
seek freedom
time is a foreign concept to me, sp-ce is
also a mystery
i lay still and feel myself drifting away, almost a
sense of serenity…
only to be attacked by these vile, uncontrollable
thoughts that rip me from a nearly meditative
state and plunge me into a crushingly downward
spiral where my chest aches from the intensity
of my heart beating
as i fall endlessly into the nothingness, i can feel
the pulling and plucking of my muscle fibers
in a harmonious and agonizing orchestration
reminiscent of the strings of torment on a piano
temporal and spatial boundaries have been dissolved
i’ve resented myself for being born my whole life, i’ve
hated my current state of being tossed around this
hamster wheel, and i abhor the thought of a future
that’s just the same
no end
relief, from this
never, will i ever feel
no end
no relief

- the green leaves lyrics

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