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the hollytones - relaxation with dr. weiler lyrics

[announcer]
hi there, and welcome to this series of relaxation and affirmation tapes, specially designed to help you ease your way through this festive season

these tapes have been prepared for you by the human empowerment resource center of the new life foundation for a better way of being inst-tute, located in madera vista, california; and we’d like to congratulate and acknowledge you for buying them! (fantastic, great, good)

and now, we’d like to present, the noted pragma-hypnotist, dr. johan weiler, whose groundbreaking book, “i’m not an eggplant, but you can eat me”, has helped thousands of people steer their way through this rotting carc-ss we call life

[dr. weiler]
h-llo, i’m dr. weiler. thank you for allowing me to share this special season with you. ah, why don’t we take a moment to lie back, get comfortable, and just relax. ah, just imagine you’re floating above a field of glistening, white snow, full of peace and contentment. and think of the smell of grandma’s baking cookies. the beautiful, colorful christmas tree and the bright shiny presents underneath

and we never think about endless, endless hours of christmas shopping the season brings to us, or the long list of relatives who live out of town, huh, and of course, their presents have to be mailed out. and that involves a little special trip to the post office, and you get to stand in the long, long, long line. and you know, you never hear from these people anyway, so why do we bother, year after year?

and that’s not it, no, then you get to take the trip down to the shopping mall and spend a half hour looking for a parking place, and then you get the wife and the kid and it’s, “nag, nag, nag,” and “daddy buy me this, buy me that.” well, i’m telling you what (doctor… doctor) wait (doctor!) i’m making a tape, get out of here! what are you doing to me? (doctor, etc.) just leave me alone, leave me…go, let go of me…ahhhhhh!!!

[announcer]
well, it appears that dr. weiler has an issue or two of his own to deal with. that’s good, we all have issues. be sure and join us next week, when our holiday helper series continues with our topic: “how to deal with stress in the new year”. and remember, life just keeps getting better, and better, and better, and better, and better, and better, and better, and better, and better… [fade out]

- the hollytones lyrics

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